Courtesy Photo | U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Michael Hayes and his children visit their mother, Felicia Nicole...... read more read more
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By U.S. Army Spc. Erin Dierschow
RC-East PAO
KHOWST PROVINCE, Afghanistan - Three years after the loss of his wife, U.S. Army Staff Sgt. Michael Hayes, shop foreman with Task Force Wolfpack, boards a plane in Forward Operating Base Salerno headed home on rest and recuperation leave with plans to honor her memory with his five children.
On March 27, 2009, Hayes of Newport News, Va., was finishing some last-minute packing with his soldiers in preparation for their deployment to Tarin Kowt, Afghanistan, when he received a series of phone calls.
“I had just got off the phone with her,” said Hayes of his wife. “She asked me what I wanted for dinner, we said I love you, see you later and hung up the phone.”
Hayes cell phone rang a little while later. It was a phone call from the school informing him that his three oldest children; Michael Jr., 7 years old, Courtney, 10 years old, and Emilee, 12 years old had not been picked up from school.
Before Hayes could call his wife he received a phone call from his neighbor telling him that he needed to come home.
Hayes immediately got in his vehicle and headed home. While in the process he made a phone call to inform his platoon leader, 1st Lt. Michael Fager and platoon sergeant, Sgt. 1st Class William Plachinski of the news. Fager and Plachinski rushed to meet Hayes at his house for support.
As Hayes walked in the house, the first thing he saw was the paramedics providing medical treatment to his wife. Once Hayes wife was stable, they took her to Cape Fear Valley Hospital in Fayetteville, N.C., where doctors did emergency surgery to open up one of her main arteries.
Fager, Plachinski, Hayes and his family sat in the hospital waiting room until the doctor came out to give the family an update. The doctor informed Hayes that he should say his goodbyes.
“And I didn’t. Not right away, and you know, I didn’t want to do that, go back there,” said Hayes shaking his head.
“She was like my counselor when I needed it,” said Hayes. “When all was said and done I made a promise to my wife that I would stay in the full 20 years and retire.”
Hayes said he received support from so many to include his unit and family advocacy, which is a part of Army Community Service. Army Community Service then referred Hayes and his family to Military One Source who provided Hayes with a trained therapist who helped them through their grieving stages.
“I guess this is where I was messing up at, I didn’t want anyone around but just me and my kids. So we can deal with it how we knew how to deal with it,” said Hayes. “Army One Source was able to provide us with extensive therapy that has helped my family. From there I slowly started progressing.”
Through Hayes’ experience he was able to provide support to one of his Soldiers that also lost his wife.
During Hayes 2009 deployment one of his Soldiers received a Red Cross message. Hayes’ soldier, Spc. Joe Russell’s wife was in the hospital severely ill.
“Hayes was always by my side making sure I was getting the treatment I needed, making sure I was okay, making sure I was going to get home to my daughter,” said Russell of Franklin, Texas.
Hayes also provided his soldier with the information he had received. Hayes knew that Russell and his family could use the resources that helped him through his grieving process.
“Staff Sgt. Hayes took me under his wing. He showed me it was ok to receive therapy,” said Russell who is now out of the Army.
Hayes gives credit to 82nd Airborne Division and the help he received from ACS and Military One Source.
“Don’t do like I did, you need to talk to somebody. No one is Superman or Superwoman. Even though we wear this uniform, don’t allow that to let your pride get in the way,” said Hayes. “If it was not for my leadership I think I would not have been able to uphold that promise I made to my wife three years ago. I think my military career would have been done.”
Military One Source is provided by the Department of Defense at no cost to active duty, National Guard and Reserve Soldiers (regardless of activation status) and their families. Military One Source provides a variety of resources for grieving families, to learn more or to get help visit the Military One Source website at: www.militaryonesource.mil or call: 1-800-342-9647.
| Date Taken: | 03.27.2012 |
| Date Posted: | 03.30.2012 14:37 |
| Story ID: | 86034 |
| Location: | FORWARD OPERATING BASE SALERNO, AF |
| Web Views: | 201 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
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