Photo By Staff Sgt. Deven Schultz | DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del. – This photo illustration was created to highlight Month...... read more read more
At first you think everything takes forever; school, growing up, saving enough money for that first car. So many trials that feel like they’ll never end. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, time seems to find a way to speed up; almost too fast. For me, that’s how it feels being a parent.
As a proud father of three little girls, the clock never stops. Warm bottles of milk turn into sippy cups that soon turn into water bottles, that go with them as they run out for their first soccer game. I find myself reflecting more as the days and years go by. Like many parents, my wife and I often find ourselves wondering: What have we done right? Where did we mess up? Who knows? What I do know is, our hearts are always in the right place.
Month of the Military Child celebrates the determination, tenacity, and fighting spirit shared by military children, youth, and teens. It highlights the positive and sometimes negative aspects that come with military life like frequent moves, deployments, and short-lasting relationships. Recently, I spoke to a military parent at the Armed Forces Medical Examiner System (AFMES) whose kids have shared, but also varied experiences with a parent in the military.
U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. Igor Pacheco, Forensic Toxicology Technician, joined the Air Force in 2016. As a laboratory technician, he has moved two times. He has two children that currently live, geographically separated from Pacheco, with their mother.
“My former wife and I spent the first two years of my son’s life together,” explains Pacheco. “I haven’t had as much direct time with my daughter but, believe it or not, she’s more attached to me than he is.”
Make no mistake, distance isn’t an obstacle when it comes to seeing his children. He made a comparison stating ‘it didn’t matter if he needed to fly two or six hours’, wherever the Air Force sent him, he would find a way visit them.
When asked what challenges his kids face, similar to other military children, he responded with the all too familiar, time. While some look at this negatively, SSgt Pacheco takes a different approach.
“Whenever they come here to visit my wife and I try to get them in to new and different things. The last time they visited we signed them up for jiu-jitsu classes,” Pacheco proudly says. “Now that they’re getting older, they’re learning more about themselves and trying new activities. My son is really into basketball and my daughter recently started dance, which are just more things we can enjoy with them.”
Igor will admit, when the visits are over and the realness of the situation sets in, it can be hard to see them go.
He says, “We have those conversations when they’re leaving like, “It was awesome spending time with you, and I can’t wait to do it again. I’m going to miss you”, and when they reciprocate, it just tugs right at your heart.”
Nonetheless, both sides persevere. Whenever he gets the chance, Pacheco calls them to check in and chat. It’s a reminder that, no matter where they all are in the world, they’re on his mind.
“One thing that has changed throughout the years was their self-confidence. It used to take a ton of effort for them to open up as they constantly faced new schools, new faces, and even different fashion styles.” explains Pacheco. “I’m sure it was difficult having to prove themselves with every new trip. But their self-confidence has grown so much in the past few years that this is no longer an issue we have to worry about.”
Military kids come in all shapes, sizes, and situations. Some have parents or guardians who deploy often or work long hours, while others can count on their loved one being home most nights for dinner. Nonetheless, they all share the common trait of being a military child.
“We always make sure the kids know they can come to us for anything. If they ever need us, we’re a safe place they can come to, be heard, and be understood,” says Pacheco.
If you have a military child, be sure to give them some extra big hugs this month. They deserve it.
| Date Taken: | 04.25.2024 |
| Date Posted: | 04.25.2024 10:00 |
| Story ID: | 469489 |
| Location: | DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, DE, US |
| Web Views: | 101 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
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