Patience and Recovery: Step 2 Contemplation

PACIFIC OCEAN

09.03.2023

Story by Petty Officer 1st Class Preston Jarrett 

USS Nimitz (CVN 68)   

PACIFIC OCEAN - I finally realized I needed a change the morning after an apartment party that turned south.

During the party, I tried to kiss a woman I was friends with (twice), sprinted back and forth across the parking lot outside and threw an angry fit because despite what people were telling me, I totally wasn’t drunk. Bitter sweetly, I remembered every detail and realized I never wanted to drink to the point of … whatever that was, ever again. Well, I eventually did, but around this point, my inner voice began asking, “Why are you still doing this to yourself?”

Forcing growth is uncomfortable – at least, it has been for me – but it’s often necessary to break out of negative patterns such as alcohol abuse. Luckily, the Substance Abuse Rehabilitation Program (SARP) counselors aboard USS Nimitz not only recognize this; their extensive schooling requires them to experience it firsthand and learn to effectively harness it for their patients’ betterment.

“I won’t ever ask someone to do an exercise that I haven’t done,” said Hospital Corpsman 1st Class Ryan Tellier, Nimitz’s SARP director. “Everything from journaling to the most heartbreaking exercises that’ll have some leave my office in tears, I have personally done every one, and I know a lot of them suck because growth is indeed painful sometimes. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Even if someone doesn’t have a bunch of crazy abuse or anything in their life, we could all use some help.”

The intensity of training at Navy Drug and Alcohol Counselor School (NDACS) in San Diego can leave a lasting impact on future SARP counselors, even proving to be a somewhat transformative experience for Tellier.

“I’m a lot more honest about how I’m feeling now, but it wasn’t a magic cure. I still went to a lot of therapy afterwards; some of it, I probably did because of the school,” said Tellier. “It’s a lot of forced self-reflection. I think it’s even more intensive than actual treatment. It’s basically three months of rehab. It’s the only Navy school I’m aware of that can kick you out if they don’t think your personality works with the job field, no matter how well you’re doing on the tests. A lot of people don’t make it through because it’s very hard; there are days when I wonder how I made it. You have to be very open. Anything that I may have struggled with in my life is something I’d bring up in school, a lot of stuff that I wish I didn’t have to talk about or wasn’t a part of me.”

The difficulty of graduating NDACS was echoed by Hospital Corpsman 2nd Class Kevin Banta, who cited the forced emotional vulnerability required to graduate.

“I knew NDACS was going to be pretty rough, but in 10 weeks, that was probably the most I’ve ever cried, and I’m 38,” said Banta. “It’s somewhat trauma-based, like … what happened in your past that made you this way? Whether it’s shutting down or joking because of a sensitive subject, it’ll get brought up so when you see those kinds of things in a patient, you’re more likely to understand. A lot of us have gone through trauma in our past, whether it’s abandonment or sexual assault or something like that, but most people don’t enjoy talking about those things, and that’s basically the situation they put us into. It was definitely difficult but extremely rewarding, and I’m grateful for it. They helped us learn about ourselves; they also dug into our family orientation. There are certain cultures that either don’t like talking about mental health, where the men shut down, or they’ve faced racial issues, so they put us in a position where we have to learn about that and how to identify and work through it with somebody.”

Since Tellier has transitioned into a role as a counselor, he’s had to balance the needs of the Navy and his command with the needs of his patients, which can be tougher than it sounds.

“I think the hardest part for me is when people don’t make it through the program,” said Tellier. “Because we are operational, there are those administrative elements. For example, if someone gets a bunch of AIs (alcohol incidents), our hands are kind of tied, which can be heartbreaking sometimes. For a lot of these people, as bad as they were in the military, getting out as a civilian is even worse for them because they don’t have the structure. I’ve worked with patients who were homeless, and I knew that’s what they were going back to, but there was nothing I could really do about it besides give them resources.”

For anyone seeking help for themselves or others, please contact the command DAPA (Drug and Alcohol Program Advisor) at [e-mail].

(The “Patience and Recovery” series will continue in steps 3-5)

• Date Taken: 09.03.2023
• Date Posted: 12.22.2023 11:57
• Story ID: 460673
• Location: PACIFIC OCEAN