(Part 2) In their words: Deployed Airmen enduring the holidays

Photo By Staff Sgt. Tyler Woodward | Staff Sgt. Anna, 380th Expeditionary Medical Group dental technician, participates in a 380 AEW resiliency project, Nov. 23, 2016. Deployed service members were asked to create an open dialogue about resiliency during the holiday season. “I always blamed myself for not answering that phone call. He left three voicemails. We had a conversation right before. And you know it was up and down emotionally with that man. It was ‘love you, I hate you.’ It was rough. And the one time I decided I was going to be strong he committed suicide – because I didn’t answer that phone call – it broke me. I blamed it on myself for a long time,” Anna said.  

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12.04.2016

Story by Senior Airman Tyler Woodward 

380th Air Expeditionary Wing

The following is a transcription of an interview with Staff Sgt. Anna, 380th Expeditionary Medical Group dental technician, which was recorded Nov. 23, 2016. As the holiday season opens, we are starting a series of Questions and Answers based on how deployed members stay resilient while away from home.

How many deployments have you been on? Is this your first?

Anna: This is my first, yes.

What do you hope to get out of this deployment?

Anna: I hope to develop new friendships. I think that’s really important. You know, you always have someone to help you during those times. Not only will it get me through this deployment but it makes my job better as well.

What do you do in your free time to help time pass while deployed?

Anna: I try to hang out with my friends and keep in touch with my family. I always make time for my family back home. I have two kids and a husband, so it’s really important.

What’s been the hardest thing while being away from your family and friends during the holidays?

Anna: Honestly, I’ve been here for six weeks now. I’ve only cried twice and it wasn’t until last week. I don’t know what it was that hit me. The toughest thing is not being able to share in the memories back home. My husband tells me things going on in our kids’ lives – my son had his first play, you know, parent teacher conferences, stuff like that. And, it’s hard. It really is. Inside I can easily choke up whenever it comes to my family. But, having fun and building new friendships have kept me busy. My husband has been amazing throughout this short transition. He’s deployed twice and my first husband deployed twice. So, I’ve encountered 4 deployments in total. I’ve been right there, so I know what it’s like waiting on a significant other to come home. This is hard, but I don’t have it that bad. Experiencing those deployments as a spouse has made me able to cope with time here at the 380th Air Expeditionary Wing.

For you, what does it mean to be resilient?

Anna: It’s being able to adapt. For me, resiliency is adaptability. I’ve been there. I was there for my ex-husband when his second deployment got really rough and it messed him up in his head. I knew him better than anybody else. Things progressively got worse through. He wanted a divorce, he was unfaithful and, naturally, made me feel crazy. And those experiences made me have to cope. It allowed me to know and understand what I deserve and how to pull through it. It allowed me to be forgiving. It just made me much stronger. I think its balance. All of these experiences have helped me balance the good and the bad in my life. And I think that’s what resiliency is in my life. It’s not something that you’re born with. You have to learn through experiences. And a lot of the time, it’s going through a really tough time.

If you could tell someone one thing to help them stay resilient through deployments what would it be?

Anna: I’d say let’s focus on the positive. Let’s focus on what we can do right now while you’re away [from home]. It’s important to not think irrational, because this is all temporary. I’d ask them, what is forever? Your kids. Your family. So, stay positive. To be resilient you have to be able to cope through tough times. I know it’s hard, but there is something better than what you’ve just endured.

• Date Taken: 12.04.2016
• Date Posted: 12.04.2016 11:30
• Story ID: 216352
• Location: (UNDISCLOSED LOCATION)