Editorial: Misguided pride

MARINE CORPS AIR STATION IWAKUNI, YAMAGUCHI, JAPAN

12.21.2015

Story by Lance Cpl. Jonathan Smith  

AFN Iwakuni

Editor's Note: The views expressed in the following entry are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Marine Corps, Department of Defense or the U.S. government.

MARINE CORPS AIR STATION IWAKUNI, Japan - War never changes. And in the words of William Tecumseh Sherman "war is hell."

Specialist Christopher Smith was 20 years old when he deployed to Bosnia with peacekeeping forces. His wife was pregnant with his first son and both were left behind in El Paso, Texas.

During his tour, Smith's fire team was positioned near a key bridge next to a Bosnian village. While manning his post one day, he saw a fisherman slowly walking toward the river, rod in hand and determined to reel in a big one. Moments later only fragments of the fisherman remained and Smith was left with the memory of what happens when someone steps on a landmine.

Months later, Smith came home to his wife and son in one piece, but left parts of his mind back in Balkan country.

I grew up watching my father silently stare at walls. Not moving or blinking for hours on end. And there was always a chance any conversation would abruptly end as he withdrew into himself, no longer aware of what was going on around him.

You see, my father suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and was never treated.

In my time in the Marine Corps, I’ve learned an unspoken creed that service members follow is "suffer in silence." Out of misguided pride, these service members live with mental illnesses and do not seek treatment.

At 14 I asked my father why he never sought help. He said something that has stuck with me even today as I pave my own path in the Marine Corps.

“Son, a man handles his issues by himself."

According to the "Military Times," the average suicide rate for active duty service members in the United States military is 24 per 100,000. Additionally, 22 veterans take their own life every day, according to the Department of Veterans Affairs. That means more than 8,000 die every year.

Not all of these deaths are out of pride, but it’s hard to deny what is instilled at basic training for all branches. Push through the pain.

Why is this bravado prevailing over self-preservation? Is it due to pride being in our blood? We are proud to put on the uniform and we are proud to be the defenders of our nation. But pride can be our biggest downfall, a perennial Achilles heel compelling us to suffer in silence.

But when a father doesn’t even know his own son due to mental illness, what is the point of misguided pride?

“Each of us struggles every day to define and defend our sense of purpose and integrity, to justify our existence on the planet and to understand,” wrote Steven Pressfield, author of “The Warrior Ethos.”

Twenty years have passed since my father picked up the pieces of another human being in Bosnia. Now it's up to me to help him put the pieces of his soul back together. In truth, our story is no different than the 22 veterans who end up losing their fight with mental illness every day. We all have our own struggle, just know you don't have to fight it alone.

• Date Taken: 12.21.2015
• Date Posted: 12.30.2015 23:57
• Story ID: 185510
• Location: MARINE CORPS AIR STATION IWAKUNI, YAMAGUCHI, JP