SHAPE, Belgium – Living in Europe is a dream … or is it? Moving overseas can present a unique set of challenges for single parent Families—especially when the magic of Europe seems to wear off and they find themselves in an unfamiliar landscape when caring for their children. A recent Benelux initiative, called the Single Parent Alliance, aims to address these challenges from the start by providing a meeting place to find connection and share valuable resources.
“[The Alliance] kind of grew its own legs … and turned into this opportunity for people to feel, be seen, have a place to talk and be understood … and not be judged,” said Lt. Col. Holly Archer, Deputy Commander for Nursing at the Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe (SHAPE) Healthcare Facility in Belgium, one of the founders of the initiative.
The Single Parent Alliance came about as a result of commanders identifying the struggles of their Soldiers in single-parenting situations. Archer explained how she experienced firsthand the challenges in her own personal life and has also observed similar in her Soldiers.
“This isn't like being in Germany where there's a lot of resources for everybody, and it's not like being in the States. Sometimes we need to make some special accommodations for people because this location is just a little bit different,” said Archer, explaining how the support network in other locations may be more robust, to include help from relatives or 24-hour childcare facilities.
Archer banded together with Brooke Campbell, Army Community Service Family Advocacy Program Manager and Chaplain Capt. Gerald Igboanusi at SHAPE, to gather resources, brainstorm education and training topics relevant to their audience, and formulate an approach to help leadership gain a greater understanding of the challenges that single parents face in this theater.
When a situation seems insurmountable, it can affect other areas of the Soldier’s work and Family life and seeking help can be hard. The Single Parent Alliance aims to offer an open environment for dialogue. The meetings are designed to connect single parents to resources and link them up with others in the community who are going through the same challenges.
“We just allow space for everyone to connect and talk about the struggles that they're having and the supports that they need,” said Campbell.
The group is open to anyone who is single-parenting and has access to the SHAPE installation. The attendees come from all situations, whether the parent is geographically separated from their spouse or if the parent does not have a partner. It takes place specifically during the workday in order to avoid the childcare challenges that many face—which is the number one topic of discussion in the group.
“Asking them to [meet] on Saturday or after work doesn't work for them because that's the whole problem,” said Archer. “But we still have some people who can't step away from their work to come for something that is going to make them a much better employee.”
The initiative is backed by the Ready & Resilient Council (CR2C) with full support from the community’s senior leaders. Still, Archer explained how the Soldiers themselves need to realize that their situation warrants dedicated attention in order to build resiliency and discover resources in the community that can help.
At the last meeting, Campbell gave parenting training about establishing times to spend as a Family and also space to rejuvenate independently without feeling guilty. Afterwards, the group shared contacts such as housekeepers, lawn mowers, or people to help with groceries. These connections could make all the difference in household management for a single parent.
“Single parents don’t get a break. They have to go to work … [then] pick up their child and go home to another full-time job,” said Igboanusi about the role of a sole caregiver. “Then they do it all over again.”
Igboanusi struggled as a geographically separated parent when his young daughter visited for the summer months. He resonated with the need for making available more resources, connection, and assistance for parents when working full time, especially when they have no established support network.
Organizing a Strong Bonds Resiliency Training weekend designed just for single parents is in the planning stages. Offering childcare for a weekend like this is essential for parents to take advantage of the personal development opportunities. It also affords an opportunity for single parents to see that they aren’t alone in their endeavors.
“My ultimate goal is … healthier relationships,” said Igboanusi, “and fostering wholeness.”
The Single Parent Alliance aims to do that and more.
“If we take care of our people,” said Archer, “then it allows them to do their best at work.”
To join the next gathering, come to the SHAPE International Library Feb. 16 at 2 p.m. Email USAG Benelux Army Community Services with questions.
| Date Taken: | 01.22.2024 |
| Date Posted: | 01.22.2024 01:39 |
| Story ID: | 462153 |
| Location: | BRUNSSUM, NL |
| Web Views: | 26 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
This work, Single Parent Alliance offers resources, connection, by Sandra Wilson, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
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