Dried Fruit

CAMP ARIFJAN, KUWAIT

12.28.2023

Story by Sgt. Joaquin Vasquez-Duran 

Task Force Spartan

ZARQA, Jordan - Amidst the relentless strife of Afghanistan, a family, five young women and one man set out on a perilous journey through the Khyber Pass, their way lit only by the faint glow of stars. Clutched in their hands, a small offering of dried fruit.

As they ventured through this treacherous corridor, every step was laden with danger. The threat of militant encounters, the harsh, unforgiving terrain, and the pervasive chill of night that seeped into their bones, made their passage a trial of endurance and courage. Each day was a gauntlet of uncertainty, each night a vigil of wary sleeplessness.

In the solemnity of their travels, the dried fruit, savored sparingly, became a cherished reprieve – a fleeting sweetness that whispered of resilience in the face of adversity. It was these small moments of solace that fortified their spirit, propelling them towards a future where such trials would become a testament to their strength, echoed in the life of a woman who would inherit their legacy of unyielding resolve.

This tale, read as an adventure story full of lore or even a graphic novel bursting with images, is actual recounted history for the family of U.S. Army 1st Lt. Onay Arghandiwal, an operations officer for the 40th Infantry Division.

The story emerges not just as a tale of military commitment but as a profound testament to the enduring human spirit against the backdrop of turmoil and hope. Her narrative, deeply rooted in her family's escape from war-torn Afghanistan, paints a vivid picture of courage, resilience, and the relentless pursuit for a better life. This story is from her mother, Freba Amin.

Born to Afghan parents who witnessed the brutal realities of conflict and displacement, Arghandiwal's own personal story is linked to her mother's extraordinary journey of escape. Arghandiwal’s mother lived in Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan. Which looks much different from today.

Before the Soviet invasion, Kabul was a city of contrast and burgeoning modernity. Women, particularly in urban areas like Kabul, experienced a blend of traditional and modern lifestyles. Many embraced educational and professional opportunities, participating in society alongside men.

This era saw women attending university, working in various sectors, and having a visible presence in public life. Their attire ranged from traditional Afghan dresses to more Westernized styles, symbolizing the diverse cultural influences at play. Kabul, during this period, reflected a progressive approach towards women's roles, markedly different from the conservative turn it would later take.

“As the Russians invaded, I saw my freedom slowly being taken away. I saw small things start to happen; trees were getting cut down, curfews and other things,” Freba Amin said.

This journey began amidst the backdrop of the Soviet-Afghan War, a period marked by chaos, fear, and uncertainty. And because of that uncertainty confusion reigned. One common occurrence was to see boys being kidnapped by the Afghani Army to be forced to serve in the military.

“You'd never see these people again and, in her eyes, I think that this is really the milestone that forced her family out of Afghanistan. During that situation, my uncle, her younger brother and one of his friends were taken,” Arghandiwal said.

“She ran to tell her father, my grandfather what had happened, and he had taken off running to go stop these soldiers,” Arghandiwal said. “He slapped them and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’ which he wasn’t anybody really important, but the slap must have been so shocking to those soldiers that they released his son and his friend.”

As the political and social fabric of Afghanistan unraveled, Arghandiwal's mother, then a young woman, faced an unimaginable decision: remain in a land beset by war and lose her autonomy and freedom, or embark on a quest for safety.

Choosing the latter, her mother, along with five other family members, and a guide, commenced an arduous trek that would take them through the infamous Khyber Pass. This narrow, mountainous passage, historically a gateway between Afghanistan and Pakistan, became their path to a hopeful future but was littered with dangers. As they journeyed, they faced the relentless challenges of harsh terrain, the constant threat of armed combatants, and the overarching fear of being caught.

At the start of their journey, her uncle gave everyone dried fruit, as much as they could carry.

“This is all you are going to eat for seven days. Stuff it in your pockets and make sure you don’t lose it,” he said.

Throughout the seven-day and night journey, they traveled mostly under the cover of darkness, navigating through hostile territory with minimal provisions. The nights in the Khyber Pass were cold and unforgiving. They often found shelter in caves or under the sparse cover of trees, sleeping in fear and waking to uncertainty.

Along the way, the party crossed another party. This group, also composed of five women and one male teenager, begged her uncle to help them through the Khyber Pass. This chance encounter doubled the stress and challenges her uncle would have to face. This large group of mostly women would be considered extremely vulnerable even if not passing through this extremely dangerous terrain.

This thought did not come out of irrational stress, it was a reality that all women in Afghanistan faced. It worried her uncle and filled him with stress and fright.

Especially when they had their encounter with the Mujahideen, guerrilla fighters in Afghanistan who engaged in conflict primarily against the Soviet Union and the Democratic Republic of Afghanistan during the Soviet-Afghan War in the 1980s.

Over time, the Mujahideen in Afghanistan evolved and fragmented into various factions. Some of these groups later formed the core of the Taliban, which emerged in the 1990s and eventually took control of much of Afghanistan, imposing strict Islamic rule.

Somewhere along the journey, her mother and cousin ran just ahead of their traveling party where they found an area that filled their hearts with awe and wonder. The two young girls, swooned with the beauty of this pass, took off their burka and started singing.

And out of darkness came the Mujahideen, full of anger and spite, who then drew weapons at the two young girls’ heads.

“Do you know who we are?” they said, “We can kill you right now if we want to for taking off this burka.”

Their guide came out and pleaded for their mercy. They are from Kabul, and they do not know our customs, he tried to explain.

At that moment, she did not cry but she was shaken from this encounter and a thought entered her mind.

“Who the hell do they think they are?”

Eventually, they went into Pakistan and arrived at a safehouse. Immediately, her mother ripped off the burka. Arghandiwal’s mother was a freshman in college. She wore miniskirts, she studied, she worked, she was not, at all, used to this level of prohibitions and denial of autonomy.

“Afghanistan growing up was pretty liberal in regard to the Middle East at least,” Freba Aminn said. “Growing up, I used to wear mini skirts and dresses.”

She waited patiently in Pakistan to receive her visa. It took one year before she moved to America.

Freba Amin found herself with her family in Richmond, California. She got a job at a video store. She spoke almost no English, and learned what she could from movies and while on the job. Her career took her to fast food restaurants, became a cosmetologist, and eventually ran a daycare business that still operates to this day.

Her father, Mustafa Amin, moved to Richmond with his brother, Arghandiwal’s uncle, as he had family in the area already. Mustafa Amin’s family was roughly the equivalent to being middle class in Afghanistan but took a job as a dishwasher at a restaurant. Mustafa Amin eventually found work as an industrial designer.

“So they didn't meet in Afghanistan, they met in America,” Arghandiwal continued. “Fremont, California is one of the largest populations of Afghans outside of Afghanistan. It's essentially a lot of people, a lot of Afghan immigrants end up in Fremont because that's their culture.”

This journey was not merely a physical ordeal but an emotional odyssey that shaped the narrative of an entire family. Every step taken in the rugged mountains was a step away from a past filled with conflicts and towards a better opportunity.

The perilous journey of Freba Amin through the Khyber Pass as well as the life she had in America was more than a tale of survival; it was a powerful legacy that she would pass down to her daughter.

Growing up, Arghandiwal was nurtured on stories of her family's escape, each narrative steeped in resilience and the unyielding will to overcome adversity. These stories shaped her worldview, instilling in her a deep sense of purpose and a commitment to service.

Raised in a household where the echoes of Afghanistan's struggles were a constant reminder of their hard-won safety, Arghandiwal developed an early appreciation for the freedoms and opportunities afforded in the United States. Her mother's experiences underscored the importance of perseverance, a lesson that became a guiding principle in Arghandiwal's life.

Unfortunately, their troubles from Afghanistan followed them into their new life. Arghandiwal was just six years old when the World Trade Center towers fell in New York. She knows her exact age because her birthday is September 12th.

“We left this horror; we experienced it firsthand and now we're being criticized for something that we kind of escaped ourselves.”

People injected their fears onto Arghandiwal and her family because they shared the same faith and culture as the perpetrators. Her family was on the receiving end of racism on almost every front. Not only did open discrimination exist but also behind closed doors. Arghandiwal describes that her dad was passed over for work promotions because of this.

Before her service in the military, Arghandiwal charted a path marked by academic and professional achievements. A graduate of University of California, Berkeley in 2015, she immersed herself in the rigors of higher education, honing her skills and knowledge.

Post-graduation, her journey led her to a successful career in tech sales. While she was happy with her success, she still felt there was more to what she needed in her life to be fulfilled. She enlisted in 2017 as an officer’s candidate and earned her commission in the summer of 2021.

“The biggest thing I kept remembering when I got this startup job, I was like, I'm just making rich people richer. Like, I don't feel fulfilled. There's nothing I'm doing in my life that makes me feel like I'm making a difference in the world,” Arghandiwal said.

Her decision to join the U.S. Army was a culmination of these influences. Seeing the military not just as a career but as a calling, she was driven by a desire to give back to the country that had offered refuge and hope to her family. Her choice was also a tribute to her mother's journey, a way to honor the sacrifices made for a better future.

As Arghandiwal embarked on her military career, the values ingrained in her by her family's history – courage, resilience, and a relentless pursuit of goals – became her compass. They guided her through the challenges of military life and shaped her approach to leadership and service.

Arghandiwal's career in the U.S. Army is demonstrated by her dedication to service and leadership. Her deployment to the Middle East has been a significant period, offering her a first-hand experience of the complexities and responsibilities inherent in military operations abroad.

During her time in the Middle East, she not only contributed to the mission but also gained invaluable insights into the workings of the military in a strategic region.

Her temporary duty in Jordan further expanded her understanding of international military collaboration. Working alongside Jordanian Armed Forces, Arghandiwal embraced the opportunity to engage in cross-cultural exchanges and shared military exercises. These experiences honed her professional skills and deepened her appreciation for the diverse perspectives within the armed forces.

“You can be who you want, wear what you want, say what you want without your life being threatened as a woman. Take advantage of that,” Freba Amin told her daughter.

“And I didn't know what she meant until I really heard her stories and what she had to go through,” Arghanidwal said.

As Arghandiwal reflects on her journey, she sees a tapestry woven from her family's history and her military service. Each chapter of her life has been underpinned by the resilience and determination inherited from her mother's daring escape from Afghanistan and the values instilled in her through her upbringing in the United States.

Her story, rich in lessons of overcoming adversity, embracing challenges, and breaking new ground, stands as an inspiration to all who seek to make a difference in their communities and beyond. Arghandiwal's journey is a remarkable illustration of how the legacies of the past can powerfully shape the futures, guiding to new heights of achievement and fulfillment.

Arghanidwal and her mother have discussed her adventure into Pakistan often, but only recently did her mother share her own aspirations to be a soldier.

“She had a friend drop out of school to join the military. She brought it up to her mom and was told ‘over my dead body!’ so a part of what I am doing here, she sees as a reflection of herself.”

The legacy of resilience, borne from a mother's courage and sustained like the dried fruit in her pocket, lives on in her daughter, unyielding and hopeful.

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• Date Taken: 12.28.2023
• Date Posted: 12.31.2023 01:58
• Story ID: 460935
• Location: CAMP ARIFJAN, KW