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    Love is a Battlefield: Adoption, Parenthood and the Military

    Love is a Battlefield: Adoption, Parenthood and the Military

    Photo By Staff Sgt. Hannah Clifton | As a dual-military couple in the Indiana National Guard, Staff Sgt. Ashley Cook and...... read more read more

    INDIANAPOLIS, IN, UNITED STATES

    11.30.2023

    Story by Sgt. Hannah Clifton 

    Indiana National Guard Headquarters

    In the entryway, tiny shoes sit beside two pairs of combat boots while wooden puzzles, children’s books and matchbox cars lie scattered throughout a living room decorated with Army awards and challenge coins.

    As a dual-military couple in the Indiana National Guard, Staff Sgt. Ashley Cook and Sgt. Kelsea Cook have dedicated years of service and training to answer whatever call their state and nation might ask of them. Yet, nothing prepared them for the battle of adoption and the challenges of parenthood.

    Having children was always a priority for the Cooks. After Ashley had a hysterectomy in March 2020, Kelsea underwent two rounds of intrauterine insemination which ultimately failed. Still determined to grow their family, they tried fostering to adopt through Indiana’s Department of Child Services.

    Fostering with the hopes of adoption wasn’t an easy choice for the Cooks to make. DCS’s main priority is reuniting children with their biological parents. While many children cannot return to their original homes due to unsafe circumstances, it can take years before adoption is possible and a lifetime of helping children heal.

    “When fostering to adopt, you have to have a strong heart,” emphasized Kelsea. “You have to be strong emotionally and give it all you got for the kids even though you might be potentially hurting yourself.”

    After their first foster child had unexpected health challenges that required more care than they could provide as dual-military parents, Ashley and Kelsea took time to recover from the heartache of losing their placement. They fought through their own worries and doubts before deciding they would give fostering a final attempt before resorting to private adoption through an agency.

    On April 23, 2021, their prayers were answered after receiving a call from DCS for the emergency placement of two young children.

    As the two siblings came into their care, Ashley and Kelsea instantly fell in love. Bracing themselves for the long, grueling, rewarding road ahead, they knew the potential heartbreak of losing their new 3-year-old daughter and 6-month-old son was worth the risk.

    Only five months after welcoming their son and daughter into their home, Kelsea left for a six-month advanced individual training course at the Defense Information School in Fort Meade, Maryland. Like many working parents dealing with the struggles of having their military spouse gone for duty, Ashley tackled the stress of parenting, court hearings, parental visits and custody battles by herself.

    “During Kelsea’s time at AIT, the only thing that kept me pushing was the kids. They were my saving grace,” said Ashley. “Dealing with it all on my own was a huge stressor but looking at the babies every day was what kept me going.”

    Their dedication and commitment to one another and their children paid off in December 2022. Ashley and Kelsea officially adopted their son and daughter after surviving the six-month military assignment and a year and a half of fighting for custody.

    While the challenges of parenting have just begun, Ashley and Kelsea are excited to provide a good life for their kids and look forward to a bright future as a family.

    “We want our kids to know that if you work hard you can succeed,” said Kelsea. “Hopefully, seeing us being in the military will inspire them.”

    The Cooks advised and said anyone seeking to foster and adopt to be cautiously optimistic. It isn’t a path for the faint of heart. However, successful couples not only save a child’s life but also challenge and grow themselves in ways they never believed they would.

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    NEWS INFO

    Date Taken: 11.30.2023
    Date Posted: 11.30.2023 10:37
    Story ID: 458767
    Location: INDIANAPOLIS, IN, US

    Web Views: 524
    Downloads: 1

    PUBLIC DOMAIN