CONTINGENCY OPERATING BASE SPEICHER, Iraq — As deployments come and go, staying connected and maintaining a strong and secure foundation is important in the success of a healthy relationship.
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, sometimes giving or receiving a gift while deployed is more special than usual.
"The Army is all about families these days, and we want to make sure that families are healthy," said Maj. Terry Romine, the Family Life Chaplain for Task Force Marne. "That way, Soldiers are more able to focus on their jobs, and families are more likely to be in favor of re-enlistment if all things go well."
So what are some ways that couples and families can stay connected during these long deployments?
"I sent my husband a little golfing care package, since he loves golf," said Capt. Heather Deters, an administrative officer with 1st Battalion, 64th Armor, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division. "It has little tees and golf balls, plus a lot of candy. I just went with what he liked."
Stuck and have no gift ideas? There's nothing to worry about; some turn to the Internet for helpful tools and search engines for gifts.
"Google is a wonderful thing," said Deters. "They have gift baskets for everything, from candy to wine, and from teddy bears and soap and candle sets."
Soldiers today are able to make telephone calls, use Skype and other messenger programs and e-mail each other a lot more frequently than in the past, making communication during deployments a lot more easier.
"I try to stay in contact with my wife and kids through the computer and call home as much as possible," said Spc. Donald Dasher, an infantryman with 1/64th Armor.
However, some couples and leaders may think that too much communication causes problems, such as service members spending their communication time with family by fighting and arguing about life, home and deployment concerns.
Part of Romine's family counseling talks about communication problems with service members who use this time to fight.
Instead of fighting, make a time in the conversations to tell loved ones how much they are appreciated. From there, that is how one can start building that relationship called love. If a couple is considering divorce, remember that is not always an answer, and there are programs and people available to help.
"Remember what you did when you first fell in love," said Romine. "Remember what that was like, and what you were doing that made you know you were in love. Usually, we don't divorce because we have big problems, we divorce because we lose connections. When that happens, we feel like we're not in love anymore."
For some couples on their first deployment, times can be stressful. What is important is making the communication clear and talking about each other's feelings. Sometimes, Soldiers feel like they need to keep secrets about their missions so that those at home don't worry. However, Romine said the more Soldiers can share about what is going on, the better.
For those who are dual military and are both deployed in the COB Speicher area, there are Valentine's Day events scheduled to make the day special for them.
"We do some dual military deployed retreats, and we're reminding couples that they need to be connected, because connection is all about what makes the relationship work," said Romine.
Couples who have signed up for the event will be staying at the Freedom Rest and will have time to themselves to allow them to be a couple. The mornings will be filled with training sessions and classes about the benefits and challenges of being dual military during a deployment.
"Some dual-deployed couples may have expectations of each other that they may not meet because of their duties," said Romine. "They are also separated and still both missing their children, and may have more ways to argue. However, one big advantage is that they do get to see each other. Those will be some of the topics that we will speak about during the sessions."
Two other events around COB Speicher will be a prayer luncheon held by the Division Special Troops Battalion Chaplain titled "All You Need Is Love," which will be held Feb. 13. That same evening, the Family Life Chaplain from Fort Stewart, along with Romine, will be holding a Coin Covenant ceremony.
Spouses both at home and here in Iraq will be able to see each other on a screen and will be able to participate with each other during class sessions dealing with relationship building and staying connected.
The Coin Covenant ceremony was initially held prior to the deployment. The couples split a coin with a verse from the Bible. The couples also wrote out their commitment to each other on cards, then exchanged them, along with the coin, enabling them to carry both coin and card with them throughout the deployment. They will reassess their commitment during the ceremony, Feb. 13.
No matter what your plans are for Valentine's Day, be sure not to forget your loved ones and those who support you the most. Send them a card, a gift, or any little thing that shows them you care.
| Date Taken: |
02.13.2010 |
| Date Posted: |
02.13.2010 14:58 |
| Story ID: |
45313 |
| Location: |
CONTINGENCY OPERATING BASE SPEICHER, IQ |
| Web Views: |
328 |
| Downloads: |
248 |
PUBLIC DOMAIN
This work, The importance of staying connected during a deployment, by SGT Cassandra Monroe, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
Subscribe
