The Word ‘Shipmate’

NORFOLK, VA, UNITED STATES

09.16.2022

Story by Seaman Charles Blaine 

USS Harry S Truman

Words without the weight of emotion can be as meaningless as canvases without paint, and the word “shipmate” is no different. For the new wave of Sailors “shipmate” has devolved into a corny, sarcastic term with all the endearing qualities of a knifehand, but for those Sailors whose struggles and sacrifies are permanently etched into Naval history, like a tattoo, the word “shipmate” carries with it a deeper and more heartfelt meaning.
For Kari Bell, the deployment resiliencey counselor aboard the USS Harry S. Truman (CVN 75), “shipmate” still remains an endearing term that she’s earned with other brave Sailors who pioneered a new place for women in the Navy. Her bittersweet journey as one of the first women to deploy on Naval destoyers helped shaped the rest of her life and kept her sailing full speed ahead to new frontiers, like counseling Sailors aboard the Truman.
“My job as a therapist is to teach people to be their own best therapist,” said Bell. “Sailors give me their story, and my job is to deliver the story back to them so they can listen to their wiser selves rather than the one who is self defeating.”
Bell, who is no stranger to hardship, said she has weathered her own share of harrowing experiences while serving in the Navy in the early 1990s. With no forseable war on the horizon, Naval bases were closing to reduce forces. At the same time, the Navy just started allowing women on deployed vessels, a move that garnered waves of disapproval among many serving.
“There was a lot of pressure for being a young woman in the Navy at the time,” said Bell. “They had special training with how to deal with the arrival of women on ships. There was a lot of outspoken opinions about how women don’t belong in wars because it was going to weaken our military. In combat situations, we weren’t even trusted with weapons.”
Far from the more accommodating environement of present day Naval ships, women could only serve on supply or medical ships when Bell first enlisted as a Mess Specialist (MS). On her second set of orders she was the first woman in history to walk aboard the USS Oldendorf (DDG 942). When she asked where the female berthing was, her male shipmates laughed. Not only did the ship lack any female berthing but Bell was only one of 12 women on a ship that had only begun transitioning from being an all male crew.
“I was looking at the mission and how we wore the same color uniform, and many were just looking at how I looked,” said Bell. “That was the weirdest feeling. I had to carry myself well because I was representing women in the Navy. I worked ten times harder. ‘You’re going to tell me to get 170 lbs of ham? Standby. I’m going to do it because I think you’re waiting for me to be weak.”
The word ‘shipmate’ was a universally respected name that many women fought to be regarded as, in a cultural climate that still limited women to traditional roles and appearances.
“I remember throwing a change of command ceremony outside and we were marching but it was mandated that we were to wear heels and skirts,” said Bell. “Imagine standing outside at parade rest with your heels sinking into the mud, and you’re so afraid they’re going to pop you to attention because you can’t move your feet. Proudly, I’ve never shyed away from hard work in heels since the end of my enlistment.”
Bell said she found comraderie with her female shipmates and lasting friendships were formed during her time in service. A Naval sisterhood, anchored in grit and determination to succeed despite common opinions and prejudice, emerged.
“What I leaned on were salty women who we called ‘ship moms’,” said Bell. “They were E-5s and E-6s who lived in my berthing and had a lot of seatime. They were wiser, experienced and cared enough to lend their strength.”
Because there was no way to volunteer yourself to talk to therapists, Sailors would often depend on each other. Some of the hazing rituals were well accepted because female Sailors wanted to belong like any other Sailor.
“There was no preventative mental health,” said Bell. “Someone had to already have a severe mental health diagnosis if you wanted help. You would definitely have a big mark against you, not make rank and be labeled as a problem sailor.”
According to Bell, the lack of easily accessable mental heath services during her time in service reflected a military era that viewed seeking mental health as a sign of weakness.
“There is a big message in the military that’s shifting,” said Bell. “I think the message has always been that toughness is shoving emotion down and pretending that we don’t have any human reactions or emotions.”
Even the strongest people have their breaking points, and Bell witnessed a close friend and shipmate’s emotional health deteriorate after service.
“The person who was my strength, at the time, ended up later in the psych ward because she had a phycological break,” said Bell. “She was one of the first women on a carrier and she didn’t do so well. She was weakened by the treatment she endured while serving, and that haunted me because she was my strength and my mentor.”
To better understand, Bell studied and dedicated her life to counseling people through her work in the civilian sector and her current work with the Fleet and Family program aboard the Truman.
“My life would have been very different if I had a deployment resiliency counselor aboard the ship,” said Bell. “I’m a part of a group that offers professional intervention right on the front lines. I treat adjustment disorders before they become ongoing persistant mental illnesses. I am intrigued by the complexities of how environmental factors can effect mental health. It’s not exactly normal to live 18 inches away from your co-worker. That can come with some issues.”
Bell admires how younger Sailors are bold enough to challenge the common definitions of strength in the military. It is an overlap of change, and progressive concepts like mental wellness and resiliency are slowly drifting into the military lexicon.
“I think the culture is shifting and there is a new generation of Sailors that are open to mental wellness being packed in their seabag,” said Bell. “The message is now that there’s actually strength in vulnerability and honesty.’”
Advancing to the front lines and facing battles headstrong is not a foreign concept in the military, and retreating or running from issues is generally counterproductive to winning a war. To Bell, facing emotional issues is comparable to good military strategy, and she sees no reason for Sailors to retreat from the fight within.
“If we see another hostile battleship do we just run away or do we push forward and take on the battle? Counseling is just a front-line battle with yourself. It’s about getting out, being healthy and understanding you don’t have to fear what is being felt. Once you get honest with it, you can name it, cope with it and get some skills to conquer it.”
Shipmate is a term that Bell lived up to with pride, and despite the numerous obstacles that came her way, she says that she now looks fondly at her past service. As time passes, memories get more distilled with nostalgia and experiences that once seemed stressful now fit like puzzle pieces in the bigger picture of her life.
“The amazing thing about serving is you don’t even know you’re making history,” said Bell. “That’s the beauty of this job. Your service time is a time stamp where things forever will rotate around it and it does make a difference down the road in life. I sure as heck didn’t think as a Navy cook that being the first woman to walk on those ships was going to mean anything, but it was a pioneering experience.”
Kari Bell continues to blaze trails on a new frontier. Her story echos with the numerous struggles women have endured and overcome to establish themselves as leaders in an ever evolving world. The new movement of mental wellness that Kari Bell and health teams are frontlining is strengthening the armed forces one brave soul at a time. If there’s anything that Bell wants the Truman to know, is that Sailors are stronger and more resilient than they give themselves credit for, there’s strength in vulnerablility, and the term ‘shipmate’ represents genreations of Sailors that paved the way for those that stand the watch today. It is more than a word; it’s a deep connection built on the backs of pioneers that suffered greater than us.

• Date Taken: 09.16.2022
• Date Posted: 12.30.2022 17:19
• Story ID: 436136
• Location: NORFOLK, VA, US