Gold Star Wives attend Army Navy Game

FORT BRAGG, NC, UNITED STATES

01.27.2020

Story by Joseph Barker 

U.S. Army Recruiting Command

Resilience is a character trait that the Army instills in its Soldiers and one that every military spouse must have an abundance of in order to navigate the winding path of a military career.

Being a military spouse is more than simply keeping the home fires burning while the Soldier is away and following their servicemembers throughout their careers, in most cases, it also involves a full-time job, school, children and making sure the bills are paid on time. Resilience is even more necessary when that path comes to a sudden and unexpected end.

However, when the worst-case scenario happens, resiliency alone isn’t always enough. That's why four young widows of World War II Soldiers founded The Gold Star Wives of America in 1945. GSW is an organization dedicated to providing support for other women who have experienced the tragedy of losing their husbands in combat.

Seventy-four years later, the organization has grown to include chapters spanning the nation with members whose husbands served in the Korean War, Vietnam War, Gulf War, and the conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq. It not only provides spouses with assistance navigating the benefits provided to them but with the aid of other organizations such as the United States Army Special Operations Command Soldiers, Family & Command Support Association they also organize trips and events to bring together widows and widowers so they can network and assist each other during their troubled times.

One of these events is the annual Army-Navy football game. This year, USASOC SF&CSA sponsored nine GSW families to attend the game’s 120th playing held in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Kendahl Shoemaker-Luce, widow of special forces Capt. Ron G. Luce Jr. was among this year's invitees. Luce, a team commander with the 20th Special Forces Group, was deployed to Afghanistan when his vehicle was struck by an improvised explosive device killing him and two other special forces Soldiers.

“My first interaction with GSW was before I lost my husband,” Shoemaker-Luce recalled. “The spa I worked at near Fort Bragg was hosting an event with GSW. My general manager, whose husband was prior military, had been approached by GSW to do a charity event at the spa."

The event made a lasting impression on Shoemaker-Luce. She worked the front desk for the event and had the opportunity to observe the women who belonged to the local chapter. She recalled that many of the women were laughing or shy, but had an upbeat and jovial spirit. However, one moment from that day truly struck her.

"Two women walked in together, one woman who looked to be in her early twenties looked scared and bewildered while the other woman had her arm protectively around her shoulders, like a mother hen. Three other gold star wives immediately walked over to them, and I will never forget hearing her turn to them and introduce this so incredibly young woman and saying, 'Ladies, she just became one of us a couple weeks ago.' In that moment, I realized the enormity of what being a gold star wife meant. As that realization washed over both of us like a tidal wave, I looked at my manager and said, ‘My God, that’s a club I hope to never pay the membership cost to join.’”

Little did she know, not even two years later, she would be a Gold Star wife and that protective, mother-hen like woman she had seen that day would be one of the first people to reach out to her after her husband was killed and would help guide her through so much over the following months.

“After I lost my husband, Kim Felts, a fellow Gold Star wife and the 7th Special Forces senior family readiness group advisor, was one of the first faces I saw, one of the first people to reach out to me so I knew that Gold Star Wives were there,” Shoemaker-Luce recalled. “I didn’t do a ton of events initially, but as I attempted to wade through the process, and something wouldn’t make sense or I would have a question that it seemed no one could find the answer to, I often found myself turning to fellow Gold Star Wives for help and answers."

Consequently, whether it was answering questions or acting as a representative for the families of fallen Soldiers at the Army Family Action Plan conference, she felt a more vested interest in the program and a desire to “do right” by the other members of the GSW. Then, when the opportunity attend the Army-Navy game arose, she jumped at it.

Shoemaker-Luce had a special reason to want to attend. This would be her 15-year-old daughter Carrie Ella’s first Army-Navy game experience. When she herself was 15, her brother was a midshipman at the U.S. Naval Academy. At the same time, her older sister was dating a midshipman who was a wide-receiver on the Navy football team.

“Every year on the weekend of the Army-Navy game, my brother and his friends would come stay at our house in Philadelphia and we would all go to the game the next day,” Shoemaker-Luce said of the event.

Although not her first Army-Navy experience, Shoemaker-Luce said entering the stadium with her daughter was an awe-inspiring moment and one she would never forget.

“We stepped into the stadium from the dark walkway and it happened to be right when they had the intro video for the game playing on the big screen," she said.

She remembered the juxtaposition of the dark stormy sky against the almost blindingly bright lights. The wind caused the rain to come at them sideways. Looking out over the sea of cadets and midshipmen, she could hear her heart pounding as the band music blared and JFK's voice boomed through the speakers echoing throughout the entire stadium as the video played on the screen.

"I literally got chills,” she said.

Although the Black Knight’s football team didn’t come out with a win, Shoemaker-Luce did not feel like the trip or the experience was a loss.

“What we get from the experience is so much bigger and more important than the event alone,” Shoemaker-Luce said. “On the last night, as I watched my daughter hugging people goodbye, listening to promises made to keep in touch and update them about how school was going for her, promises to see each other soon, I found myself getting emotional."

This shocked her since they had just met these people two days before. She realized she was not saying goodbye to people she had just met 48 hours prior, but people she felt she had known for years. These people had become de facto family to them.

“Carrie and I share so many hard, painful memories; every birthday, graduation, and milestone that my husband is not here for, so to have the opportunity this event provided to be able to create a happy, wonderful memory that she and I will forever share, is something I will be eternally grateful for,” she said.

Shoemaker-Luce said that she was grateful to all the organizations that played a part in providing the opportunity for her and Carrie to share this experience, especially the USASOC SF&CSA for their continued support.

“All the hard work so many amazing people did to make it such an incredible experience and the words we heard that weekend, it was like it was their way, through their words and actions, of assuring my daughter, 'you are not alone, you are not forgotten' and showing her that people understood that she too has sacrificed because her father made the ultimate sacrifice,” Shoemaker-Luce concluded.

• Date Taken: 01.27.2020
• Date Posted: 02.05.2020 17:17
• Story ID: 360568
• Location: FORT BRAGG, NC, US