A new meaning to the word 'family'

Photo By Master Sgt. Teri Eicher | Staff Sgt. Ben Klar appeared on a talk show where he met his brother for the first time. Klar was adopted from Vietnam as an infant. He discovered the existence of his brother from a DNA test he took.  

KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE, UNITED STATES

08.01.2019

Story by Tech. Sgt. Teri Eicher 

134th Air Refueling Wing

Staff Sgt. Benjamin Klar lived his entire life in Knoxville, Tennessee as an only child. After being adopted at the age of four months from South Korea, Klar grew up knowing his background made him different from other children.

Klar’s parents knew another couple who had adopted a child from Korea, and the two grew up as close as siblings. In fact, Klar refers to his best friend, Alex, as his brother. He acknowledges that at times their unique background made it difficult.

“I understood early that I was different,” Klar said. “Kids always point those things out, but I grew up here. I love baseball and apple pie. But other than my best friend Alex, I always felt really out of place. I knew I was adopted but there really wasn’t a large Asian community here.”

While taking college classes, Klar decided to enlist in the Air National Guard to cultivate a second opportunity for his future. That opportunity came in the form of a full-time position with the 134th Security Forces Squadron, which Klar accepted and still works ten years later.

Because he was adopted, Klar was unable to answer questions about familial medical history. Prompted by the suggestion that he could discover potential medical issues down the road, he decided to take a DNA test. Klar took advantage of an advertised sale, took the test and didn’t think about it again until he received a notification in his email.

At first, Klar scrolled through the notification, reading about the genetic factors the test revealed about his physical wellbeing. Finally he reached a section that mentioned potential relatives. Listed there was a person named Jeff Malin, who the test indicated was Klar’s half-brother.

“When I was younger my parents would ask me if I wanted a brother or sister,” Klar said. “As a kid I said no, but it was kind of like an adult dream come true to find out a quarter of the way through my life that I have a brother.”

At first Klar didn’t know how to respond. He put his phone away and went back to what he was doing prior to receiving the email. However, he soon pulled his phone out again to read more about this brother he never knew existed.

The company didn’t reveal a lot of information, only that Jeff Malin was his half-brother and lived in Michigan. Klar decided to reach out to Malin and see if he was interested in meeting.

As it turns out, Malin had taken the test several years earlier and for much the same reason as Klar. He wasn’t searching for relatives and certainly hadn't expected to find a sibling. The two were amazed at the coincidence that they had both chosen to use the same DNA-testing company. If either had used a competing company, they would not have come up as a match. They found a talk show willing to bring them together to meet for the first time in Nashville, and the date was set.

Klar described the entire experience as being a whirlwind. In addition to wardrobe changes and hustling from room-to-room, he was still struggling to wrap his head around how drastically his world changed in such a short time. He didn’t know what to expect from this stranger, and the show kept them apart so their first meeting would be on camera. The filming of the show was all lights and flash, and Klar said it didn’t sink in until the show was over and they had time to themselves.

“After the show,” Klar said, “when we finally got time together alone… I can’t describe the feeling, there are no words.”

The brothers quickly discovered that, despite being raised apart, they were indelibly similar. From a shared hatred of mushrooms to a similar love of small cars, they were delighted to find a kindred spirit in a stranger. Klar found out that the show had made him change his wardrobe because both he and his brother had shown up for filming with the same shirt. This small anecdote, one of dozens the men discovered over the weekend, cemented their relationship.

Klar was quick to explain that even though they found each other because of a DNA test, their definition of family is not just about blood.

“It’s broadened my definition of family,” Klar explained. “Now I have a whole other set of family: my brother’s extended adoptive family is now my family, and my best friend Alex’s family is my family, too.”

Now, of course, their lives are moving forward together. They keep in touch regularly and travel to visit each other as time and money allows. Klar said that this whole experience has changed him forever.

“This is a journey in process,” Klar said. “We did say it would be funny if they updated our DNA and we found out we weren’t actually related. Jeff said, ‘I’d still call you my brother,’ and I said, ‘Yeah, me too.’”

• Date Taken: 08.01.2019
• Date Posted: 12.27.2019 12:25
• Story ID: 357404
• Location: KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE, US