Veteran encourages troubled to seek help

Photo By Terrance Bell | Marine veteran Dana "OB" O'Brien speaks to military members and civilians gathered for the Suicide Prevention Month program at the Lee Theater Sept. 25. He was flanked by a “Be There” pledge signed by various members of the community including Maj. Gen. Rodney D. Fogg, CASCOM and Fort Lee commanding general. O'Brien, a Vietnam veteran, talked about the suicide of his Marine grandson and how the tragedy pushed him to seek treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder while putting him on a path to help others.  

UNITED STATES

10.01.2019

Story by Terrance Bell  

Fort Gregg-Adams

FORT LEE, Va. (Oct. 1, 2019) -- Dana O’Brien served in Vietnam with the 1st Battalion, 9th Marines – a unit that sustained the highest casualty rate in the Corps’ history. A 747-name roster of his fellow Devil Dogs and Navy Corpsmen is etched into the Memorial Wall in Washington, D.C.

“Every day in Vietnam, I felt like it was my last day,” he said during the installation’s premier Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month presentation at the Lee Theater Sept. 25. “There was death and destruction everywhere.”

The pain and suffering O’Brien encountered in Vietnam caused survivor’s guilt for decades after the war. To cope, the Maine native dulled his memories with alcohol and never asked for or received treatment for what was later diagnosed as post-traumatic stress disorder.

Cpl. Daniel O’Brien also joined the Marines and eventually served two tours in Iraq. Despite turmoil in his personal life – excessive drinking and a rocky marital relationship – the corporal was doing well as a Marine. He had set his sights on attending drill instructor school, but that ambition was squashed when he received a DWI.

Devastated, he killed himself a week later, said his granddad “OB,” the Lee Theater speaker’s nickname.

“The challenges of fulfilling (his) marriage, his DWI, his past life experiences – had all lined up to a point he believed he could not repair,” OB told an audience of 200 that included Col. Hollie Martin, garrison commander.

While certainly tragic, Daniel’s 2009 suicide became a life-altering stimuli for OB in more ways than one. First, it moved him to seek treatment for the closetful of war experiences he had locked away. Second, it spurred him to believe his own healing can be eased through sharing his pain. In reference to the latter, he began participating in the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, which supports those grieving the deaths of military members. TAPS was started by a Gold Star Spouse.

“We (he and his wife Linda) have decided to help others and turn Daniel’s death into a force for good,” OB said. “Through our journey, we learned so much more about ourselves and about how others turn trauma into positive energy.”

Above all, TAPS has taught him how tragedy manifests itself in sometimes self-destructive behavior.

“Daniel’s death and our engagement with TAPS forced meaningful self-reflection that brought forth how I carried hidden post-traumatic stress with me in the shadows and how that stress had driven my life choices for years,” OB said.

Now working as a TAPS mentor, OB described himself as a “proponent of openness and early intervention” when people are dealing with hardships or difficulties.

“I should have asked for help earlier in life so I could model good mental health for our children – especially for our grandson Daniel – sharing with them that numbing the pain, destructive behavior and suicide are not the answers. Post traumatic growth is possible no matter where you are in life.”

OB also said building and maintaining meaningful relationships with those around us are foundational to the well-being of everyone. He said he makes it a point nurture his relationships on a daily basis.

“Every day, I either text, call, Facebook or (tell someone) in person that I love them. I challenge each and every one of you to do the same thing,” he told the audience.

Those grieving the loss of a loved one can call Fort Lee’s Survivor Outreach Services coordinator at 804-734-6445 or TAPS at 800-959-8277.

The Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month presentation was coordinated by the installation’s Army Substance Abuse Program. For more information, call 804-765-3941/9693/9073/9182/9234 or visit home.army.mil/lee/index.php/about/Garrison/directorate-human-resources/army-substance-abuse-program.

For more information about the Army’s suicide prevention program, visit www.armyg1.army.mil/hr/suicide.

Other sources of support include the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline/Military Crisis Line, 1-800-273-TALK (8255), and Military OneSource, 1-800-342-9647.

• Date Taken: 10.01.2019
• Date Posted: 10.01.2019 11:13
• Story ID: 344893
• Location: US