Overcoming adversity as leaders of today

Photo By Angela Wallace | 1st Lt. Joseph McCall, a Chaplain candidate for Army Reserve Medical Command, speaks with children attending Legacy Prep Academy scholars’ golf clinic held in Temple Terrace, Florida on Oct. 18, 2017. During his speaking engagement, McCall provided inspiring words about overcoming adversity and challenged the children to be the leaders they are already called to be.  

PINELLAS PARK, FL, UNITED STATES

11.02.2017

Courtesy Story

Army Reserve Medical Command

Written by 1st Lt. Joseph McCall, ARMEDCOM Chaplain Candidate

The sole purpose of my job in the U.S. Army is to support the spiritual and emotional well-being of every Soldier. As a Chaplain, I’m a non-combatant. That means I do not carry a weapon at all – not even when I go to war. Just because I don’t carry a weapon, doesn’t mean I’m not armed. I’m armed with a canon that has 66 books in it, and it’s called the bible. That’s what I carry with me wherever I go – in my heart and in my hands, because that’s what I use to support my mission for the well-being of my Soldiers.

I was born and raised in St. Petersburg, Florida, as the last of four kids. I was the baby of the group, and was raised by my mother. My Dad lived about ten minutes away from my Mom and I, and I usually saw him about once a year. I didn’t live in the best of neighborhoods – my neighborhood was a rough neighborhood. I was lucky enough to be insulated, because on my street we had a bunch of older people who made sure that the drugs and the crime didn’t come on to our street, but all around me was nothing but trouble. I share this with you to say… I should’ve been a statistic. I’m black, raised by a single parent, young, male, surrounded by trouble. I should be a statistic.

In my work as a civilian, I’m also a chaplain at the County Sherriff’s Office. Day in and day out when I go to visit inmates, do you know what I see? They look just like me. I realize that I could’ve easily been in their shoes, but for the grace of God.

Here I am – not a statistic, but I am the exception to the rule.

When people look at me in my military uniform, they think, “He looks like a leader. That uniform makes him look like a leader.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, the suit is not what makes me a leader. It doesn’t make any of us a leader. Anyone can put on a uniform, but… only a few can wear it. My uniform represents eight years of military service, ten years of ministry, three months in basic training, three months in Advanced Individual Training, three months in Officer Candidate School, six months in Chaplain candidate school, two bachelor’s degrees and one master’s degree. I earned the right to wear this uniform. So, our uniform doesn’t make us leaders, because we are leaders based on what’s inside of us instead of what we wear. How did I become the leader I am today? I went through some things. I went through adversity – some stresses and some struggles. In those struggles is where I learned how to be the leader I am today.

A question that is often asked is ‘Are leaders born or are they made?’. I believe that it’s both.

Everyone is born with some capacity to lead, but it’s only through adversity that their capacity can become reality. It is when you go through something that the leader that’s on the inside steps up to become a leader on the outside.

Today, I stand here as a person who has gone through adversity and I’ve learned some lessons that I feel are important to impart to others.
I have four lessons to help you to be the leader that you have been called to be.

Lesson number one – Stay Ready.

During a conversation with a friend of mine, she shared with me that her friend, during prayer, had received a strong impression on her heart to prepare, but she wasn’t sure what she was preparing for. She decided she would follow the guidance on her heart and went to the store where she bought water, clothing and canned goods. She began to stack all these things up in her home, and her friends thought she was crazy. She was stockpiling all this stuff, but she stayed committed to what she felt she needed to do. She was prepared. She was ready. A few months went by and while she was watching the news on television, she discovered Hurricane Irma would be coming through. It was then that she realized why she was getting ready. The hurricane was about to hit and people were scrambling for gas and food and supplies, but she was already prepared. Not only did she have enough supplies for herself, but she had enough to help others. She stayed ready.

But you don’t just stay ready for the storms of adversity, you need to stay ready for success. Success doesn’t just happen. I don’t personally believe in luck the way that some believe that it’s just happenstance. I believe that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Say you’re in school and you’ve been studying your math work, really committed to understanding the material and putting aside all the things that might distract you like television or hanging out with friends. You know there will be a test at some point, but you don’t know when it’s coming.

All of a sudden… pop quiz. Your classmates are surprised by the quiz, but you’ve been preparing, and you get an ‘A’ on the test. Your classmates are all asking you how you got an ‘A’ on the quiz… but it’s because you stayed ready. Same thing with adversity. The storms of life are coming – just as sure as you are born. Trouble is going to happen. If you have been blessed enough to not go through anything significant in your life, I will share what my Grandmother used to tell me when I was young: “Just keep on living,” she said. “Keep on getting up and keep on laying down, and eventually you will go through something.” So when those storms come, we stay ready. That’s what leaders do if they want to lead through adversity.

Lesson number two – Stay Rooted.

When Hurricane Irma hit, I decided to take my family north away from the path of the storm, because I didn’t know what was going to happen. After the hurricane passed, we returned to our home. When we arrived, we saw debris in our yard. We decided to walk around the neighborhood to see the damage sustained in our area. As we walked, I noticed the different trees. Some trees were blown over by the wind, but some trees stood firm. As we continued walking, I began to consider why some trees that looked really strong had fallen while others stood seemingly unaffected. It was the same wind, the same rain and the same hurricane. Then I realized that the trees that stood firm were deeply rooted. Doesn’t matter what size a tree is, if it’s deeply rooted, it can stand against the storm. The same thing applies to life. When the winds of peer pressure try to blow you down or blow you off track, when the winds of fear or thoughts of inadequacy try to move you off track, if you stay rooted and stay grounded? You will not be pushed off track. Some people stay rooted in Family. Some people stay rooted in friends. Personally, I stay rooted in my faith. If you stay rooted, you can stand firm as a leader.

The third lesson, after you’ve stayed ready and rooted, is to stay resilient.

To be resilient means you’re able to bounce back. Think about a rubber band. If you pull a rubber band, you stretch it, right? Then when you let it go, what happens? It bounces back to its original form. The ability to bounce back from perceived failures or adversity or whatever life throws at you is the meaning of being resilient. So, I’m walking around the neighborhood and I saw trees that were blown down and some trees that stood firm. But there were also other trees. These trees stood firm and stayed rooted, but they broke. These trees weren’t flexible. They weren’t resilient. They couldn’t bend with the wind and the rain.

A few months ago, I was going through some challenges in my life and was a little upset. My four year old could tell that something was wrong with her Daddy. She said, “Daddy, what’s wrong?” and I told her, “Nothing, baby. I’m good. Just feeling a little bit down.” She looked at me and said, “Daddy? If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it? Change your attitude.” WHAT?! My four year old daughter used a quote from Maya Angelou that she had been learning in school, but it was something I grabbed ahold of. If I didn’t like things in my life, I needed to change it. If I couldn’t change it, I need to change my attitude. That is resiliency. Being able to bend and to flex.

I live by the 5-95 rule. What I mean by this is that life is 5% what happens to you, and 95% your response to what happens to you.

You head into work and someone cuts you off in traffic, or looks at you crazy. Somebody makes a joke about your mama. Someone takes that last cup of coffee in the break room without starting a fresh pot. That’s all about the 5%. The 95% is how you respond to that. I’ll ask you, what normally gets you in trouble at work or with your family? The 5% or the 95%? Yep – I’m confident it’s the 95%. You don’t have any control over that 5% - what happens to you or what someone says to you. You do have control over how you choose to respond to what happens to you. So if you’re in trouble, guess what? It’s likely because of how you chose to handle the 95%.

Now… sometimes life comes at us so fast that our readiness runs out, and our roots grow weary, and the resilience wears down because a rubber band can only stretch so far before it breaks. So what do you do when you reach this point? You’ve tried staying ready, staying rooted and staying resilient but you’re worn down.

Stay hopeful.

Lesson number four – Stay Hopeful.

Hope is knowing that things are going to get better. No matter what you are going through, know that things are going to get better. Life is not always going to be like it is at its roughest points. When I was young and got to spend a little time with my Dad, it was usually in November, and we would go to Georgia to visit my grandmother. She would cook Thanksgiving dinner for us, and I LOVED watching my grandmother cook. Especially desserts because I have a real sweet tooth. I would sit in the kitchen with her and watch her make desserts all morning. She would take a bowl out, and crack a bunch of eggs in the bowl, and then she’d pour milk in the bowl, and then she’d pour sugar in the bowl, and then she’d pour flour in the bowl. After she dumped in all the ingredients, she’d mix it all up in that bowl. As a kid, I thought it looked like a big, gross mess. Then she’d take the mix and pour it into a pan and put it in the oven. After it had been in that oven for a little bit, a sweet aroma would start to fill the house. She would pull out the pan and that mess had become a sweet smelling cake.

Just like that mess in that bowl, some of you have had a lot of messes thrown at you in your life. Some of you can look at your lives right now and believe you are in the middle of a mess, and it’s hard to understand what’s going on. What you need to know is that when all that mess comes together, it is shaping you and making you into the leader that you’re supposed to be. The leader that you were born to be. The experiences that you’re going through now and everything that you have been through are all a part of that bigger picture to make you into the leader you are supposed to be. A leader that can lead others through adversity. So hold on to hope, know that it will get better, and know that all that you are going through is enabling you to have the tools necessary to be a leader.

No matter where you are in life – whether young or old – you are not leaders of tomorrow, you are leaders of today. Of right now. You have family members who watch you and follow your example, you have younger coworkers and teammates who watch and follow your example. The choices you make define you as a leader. Don’t wait to step up and do what you are supposed to do. Do it now. Do it today.

EDITOR’S NOTE: For those looking for additional resiliency resources, the U.S. Army’s Ready and Resilient website provides additional tools that can help leaders strengthen personal readiness. Visit https://www.army.mil/readyandresilient/

• Date Taken: 11.02.2017
• Date Posted: 11.02.2017 16:31
• Story ID: 253912
• Location: PINELLAS PARK, FL, US