By Lt. Danielle Monteil
staff pediatrician, Naval Hospital Pensacola
PENSACOLA, Fla. - Not unlike the currently estimated two million military children, my childhood reads like one huge road trip. Beeville, Texas, Coronado, Calif., Orange Park, Fla., Coronado, Calif., San Diego., Newport, R.I., Belleview, Neb., Pensacola, Fla., Mayport, Fla., Montgomery, Ala., Pensacola, Fla. The average military child moves between six and nine times during their school years alone. As we celebrate the military child this month, we take the time to acknowledge their vulnerabilities and pay tribute to their incredible resilience.
My military career began as a military child. My father, a Navy pilot, served his country for 29 years. He completed seven deployments and between work-ups, cool downs, temporary additional duties and the four years he spent as a geographical bachelor, he missed about half of the Christmases, birthdays, school plays and soccer games in my first 18 years. Long before the era of the internet, email and video chatting, I remember weekend mornings spent at the kitchen table writing letters to Daddy and recording tapes (yes, I said tapes) of us telling him about our week, our friends, teachers, piano recitals and whatever else. I packaged them in envelopes and wrote “war zone” on the top right corner instead of affixing a stamp. I brought a much loved, dog eared laminated photo of my dad to parents day at my school. I remember the longest day of my life after my mom got “the call” that his plane had gone down. They didn’t know his status and the six hour wait to hear his voice and learn he was OK.
Despite these sacrifices, I consider myself one of the lucky ones. Since 9/11, somewhere between 2,000 - 3,000 children have lost a parent in the military and far more have a parent who has been wounded in action.
I did experience some of the gaps and struggles that many military children encounter. I never read “The Great Gatsby” in school. However, I did end up reading “A Tale of Two Cities” in two different grades. I struggled with getting to know a new town, school and classmates every year or so. Always the new girl, I was often frustrated that the kids in my class already had made their friends long ago and were wary of the military kid. Why become friends with the new kid when you know they are probably going to move at the end of the year? Which is what we usually did. My parents did a great job of filling these gaps as we migrated across the country. I learned U.S. History in the back of the minivan while visiting national parks, historic sites and famous cities. I learned math while they quizzed us on the price per mile based on how much gas we bought between pit stops (the numbers were easier in those days…gas was cheaper). My mother would read classic novels like “The Secret Garden” to pass the time and help us catch up on some of the books we missed in school. I learned that home was where my family was, and family was what was important.
An important lesson I learned was that there were two constants in my life. My family and the military family were always there for me.
Arriving at a new place became second nature. You unpacked the beds first, then the kitchen. That way you’d have a place to sleep and could find the coffee pot in the morning. Once your bedroom was done, it was time to meet the kids in your neighborhood. For the most part, we lived in base housing. I didn’t have to explain where I was from or how long I was staying. Instead, we could just be friends, and with each new command came new family friends and old friends reunited.
The military family was a built-in support system. There was always someone who would come over and fix the leaky toilet, wrestle the kids in the backyard and help put up hurricane shutters. We all ate meals together, played in the park together and understood how to say goodbye when it was time to go. With any luck, in a duty station or two, we’d be together again.
Looking back, I see that my childhood cultivated some of my greatest strengths. Military children learn adaptability from experiencing so many cultures and ways of life. They have seen more of this country than the average person, and while they may miss out on having to read “To Kill a Mockingbird,” they get the benefit of multiple school systems to learn from. In each new place, they can choose whether to continue the old sport or pick out a new one. Often necessary through a parent’s deployment, they learn responsibility and independence when they are young. Out of the struggle to learn to survive, they learn to thrive wherever they are.
Military children bloom wherever they are planted and now that cycle begins again with my family. As I watch my daughter wobbling around on unsure feet, I examine the choices I’ve now made as a military parent. My husband and I have secured her stability with parents that will always put family first, a military community that will support her and a lifestyle that will show her the world, as well as, teach her strength, adaptability, resilience and understanding. To my daughter, and all the military children, I salute you. Your parents and your military family are so very proud of who you are and how you have blossomed despite all we have asked of you.
And now begins my daughter’s great adventure: San Diego, Pensacola, Fla.; …
| Date Taken: |
04.22.2013 |
| Date Posted: |
04.22.2013 12:40 |
| Story ID: |
105607 |
| Location: |
PENSACOLA, FLORIDA, US |
| Web Views: |
942 |
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