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A poem about coping with the stresses of the holiday season composed by the 115th Fighter Wing director of Psychological Health, Patricia Weiner, and narrated by members of the 115th Fighter Wing.
Transcript:
'Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the land, members of families were preparing to disband.
To hither and yon to celebrate and unwind, with whomever means family to them and their kind.
Some families look forward to being together, they laugh and they talk, things are light as a feather.
Some families just dread their holiday visit, wishing instead for a random plane ticket.
These words are intended to help the latter, to glide through their visit with hardly a matter.
So take heed if you need some friendly advice, on how to get through it with scant sacrifice.
It’s all about boundaries and one’s expectations, about buffers, safe zones, and diplomatic relations.
It’s all about acceptance of yourself and others, because there are things you can’t change, so don’t even bother.
This is the story of one such brood, who dreaded the holidays much more than they should.
Too much arguing, bickering, and passive aggression; too much criticism and complaints; too much anger and tension.
See how it is and then how it can be, when even one family member chooses to see, a vision of peace, both outer and inner, oh let’s be real, how about getting through dinner?
After all, happy families are certainly the wish, but sometimes it's fine to achieve ‘happy-ish’.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, each relative stirred, along with their spouse.
Their bags were unpacked with a devil-may-care, in hopes that mom would wash the clothes there.
The children were nestled in front of their phones, missing visions of Spot as he upchucked a bone.
And while mom’s on her knees wiping up the whole mess, dad’s reading the paper despite her distress.
When from inside the kitchen arose such a clatter, we rushed toward the sound to see what was the matter.
There stood mom and a casserole gone wrong “Well it’s about time, what took you so long?”
“I could have been hurt, I could have been dead." We rolled our eyes to the backs of our heads.
“This is all your fault,” hissed sister to brother. “What do you mean? She’s also your mother.”
The siblings now fighting, forgot about mom, who poured wine in her glass and turned the oven on.
When it came time to eat, the kids brought their cells, to the table and then didn’t eat very well.
They barely said grace and had no one to thank, they kept texting their friends, while the adults simply drank.
And, then, came the moment they all waited for; no not the reindeer or St. Nick at the door.
It was the big ball of blame being tossed at the table, joined by the guilt which was equally able, to trigger old wounds and convince them they’re awful.
To almost make them do something unlawful.
When suddenly a new voice arose from the fray, with simple advice to make this game go away.
It wouldn’t turn everything bad into bliss
But it couldn’t hurt to try and went something like this ...
Come mom and come dad, and bring all of your kids. Now grandma and grandpa and all of the sibs. Come aunt and come uncle, come cousins too, to the front yard with you, and bring the ball too.
No more pointing out blame, no more passing of guilt; it’s time to have boundaries very sturdily built.
Keep your nose out of business that just isn’t yours, and keep your business your own, then no lines will be blurred.
Keep your expectations in check and out of the middle; if they stay very low, there will be very little, of should haves and could haves and why don’t things change? And more of ‘oh well, this is more in the range, of what I know to be true, what I know to be real, so I don’t have any frustration or anger to feel.’
Make sure to use buffers like husbands or wives, to distract the attackers who cause you such strife.
And safe zones are good to get away from it all, to keep yourself centered, balanced, and calm.
Be diplomatic, check your opinions at the door, and just nod and smile when they try to make theirs yours.
Acceptance is good, acceptance is great.
It doesn’t mean you give in, only that you relate, to members of family with character traits, that can’t do you harm with your boundaries in place.
While they stood in the snow and looked up very high, all became quiet then somebody cried,
"Is that the DPH on our roof, what is she doing here, and how many houses will she visit this year?"
“I go where I’m needed,” she replied with a wink. “If you bring me a ladder, I’ll give you one final think.”
‘Whether they’re ones we are born to or ones we create, without a doubt, families can strive to be great.
When boundaries are high and you don’t take the bait, you can have a happy-ish visit, it’s never too late."
Down the ladder she climbed, then into her Mini, turned her GPS on, for there were families a-plenty.
She called through the window as her car took flight, “Happy-ish Holiday and for gosh sakes, don’t fight!”
Vocal contributors in order of occurrence:
Master Sgt. Paul Gorman, Master Sgt. Linda Koenen, Senior Airman Shelby Carter, Master Sgt. Matthew Fisher, Patricia Weiner, Senior Master Sgt. Holly Sieja
| Date Taken: | 12.14.2015 |
| Date Posted: | 12.23.2015 17:23 |
| Category: | Recording |
| Audio ID: | 42789 |
| Filename: | 1512/DOD_102967782.mp3 |
| Length: | 00:04:54 |
| Composer | Patricia Weiner, 115 FW DPH |
| Year | 2015 |
| Location: | US |
| Web Views: | 52 |
| Downloads: | 3 |
| High-Res. Downloads: | 3 |
This work, Happy-ish Holidays!, by SMSgt Paul Gorman, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
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