Photo By Petty Officer 1st Class Jennifer Martinez | Marine Cpl. Corey Teague, an infantry skills instructor with the Training and...... read more read more
DALLAS - He traveled more than 1,300 miles to support children and their families, most of which he had never met. Like them, he had lost someone in the military that he cared about.
“I had a buddy (Lance Cpl. Jordan Haerter) who actually died in Iraq in 2008. He saved my life, and he gave me a new lease on life,” said Cpl. Corey Teague, an infantry skills instructor with the Training and Instructor Group (TIG) at Marine Corps Security Cooperation Group (MCSCG) in Virginia Beach, Va. “So, I (decided I would) start volunteering and give back to the people that gave so much.”
For Teague, the military families were those who gave just as much as the service members they lost, so he decided to become a mentor for an organization called the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (T.A.P.S.).
“T.A.P.S. is a nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide support and comfort for families of fallen military members after Sept. 11,” said Ami Neiberger-Miller, the T.A.P.S Public Affairs Officer. “Every staff member at T.A.P.S. is a survivor of a fallen service member or a military family member.”
Their volunteer workforce includes active duty military service members, who have spent more than 40,000 hours of their time in the last year training in how to companion a child who is grieving and volunteer their time to support the children left behind by fallen service members.
T.A.P.S. helps with an annual event in Dallas called Snowball Express to provide four days of fun and healing for surviving families. They provide a support team with grief counselors and mentors like Teague.
“We’re there to facilitate fun, enable laughter, supervise the kids and help the parents out in any way we can,” said Teague, who is a native of Norfolk, Virginia, “We give mom a break when the kids are all rowdy. We take the kids off her hands for a while and we take the kids out to have fun.”
Not only did many military moms attend the event but also sisters, aunts, uncles and dads as well. This year, almost 1,700 family members from all over the United States and from as far as Australia and Guam flew in on nine airplanes provided by American Airlines.
They rode to each destination on six greyhound charter buses and 40 Dallas County school buses escorted by the Patriot Guard Riders.
In addition to being treated to a cheering crowd and a four-day weekend of fun filled activities, they had the chance to connect with other people who share their experiences.
“There are a lot of people who will try to sympathize with the family but it’s nice for them to talk someone who knows exactly what they’re going through and how they’re feeling, because they understand them in a very different way,” Neiberger-Miller said. “There’s a relationship there because of that kind of loss.”
The Snowball Express attendees feel grateful for the chance to meet surviving family members for the first time and to revisit with attendees they have met at previous Snowball Express events.
“It makes you feel appreciated and not forgotten, because your friends will be there maybe for a few months after your husband or wife has died, but then it goes away because they don’t know what to say,” said Kristen Clark, a mother of three boys and a Navy widow from Georgia. “They think the best thing to do is to say nothing and give you space, and that’s the worst thing to do, so it’s nice to have the Snowball Express and T.A.P.S. and be able to see some familiar faces every year.”
The opportunity to be around others who know what she and her family go through helps Kristen open up and heal.
“I don’t feel like I have to put a mask on when I’m here or worry when my kids are acting out about something that triggered a memory that makes them sad,” she said. “Out in public, you can’t just sit there and say ‘I feel like crap today,’ if people ask you how you’re doing. You wear a smile and say ‘Oh, I’m OK.’”
While surviving parents get a feeling of emotional freedom, their children can feel secure knowing that their family isn’t alone, and that they aren’t alone, explained Neiberger-Miller.
“The kids will meet other children who have also had a military loss. When an 8-year-old walks into a room and sees a bunch of other 8-year-olds who’ve all lost a loved one who served in the military it does something for them,” she said. “It creates a sense of safety that, here, everybody can understand what you’re going through.”
With that newfound security children learn to remember their parents as they lived, which the surviving parents also appreciate.
“The things that really stood out the most was the presidential escort and having the Patriot Guard Riders with us because my husband used to ride (motorcycles) and he had his own motorcycle,” said Clark. “The boys relate to that because they remember riding on the bike with their dad and working on the bikes with their dad, so to be escorted by the Patriot Guard was pretty cool.”
Finding ways to relate to the military and bonding with the mentors at the Snowball Express helps the children and their families find their identity again because sometimes, when a service member has fallen, their family becomes disconnected with the military, Neiberger-Miller said.
“When the children experience such a big loss, they’ve not just lost their parent, they’ve lost their military identity,” she said. “The mentor gives them back that identity and reconnects them. This shows them that their relationship with the military is not over because their parent has died, that the military is still here for them and cares about their family. So it really is an amazing thing for military members to volunteer to mentor the children.”
Clark’s 11-year-old son, Jeff, whom Teague mentors, said he enjoyed meeting other military family members and the chance for a small vacation with his family.
“I like that I get to get away from school and I like talking to the other military families,” Jeff said. “My favorite part about this weekend was going on the Titan roller coaster in Six Flags three times with the Marine. I like (Teague) because he is nice. He went on all the roller coasters with me and he tells funny jokes. We’re going to go back next year if we can.”
Teague said the most important thing that the surviving families take home with them each year is the knowledge and consolation that they’ll be remembered.
“If I have done my job right, hopefully the families will go home knowing that the military members have not forgotten about them, that their country hasn’t forgotten about them, and that we’re here for them,” he said.
The chance to build up Clark’s sons’ father as a hero is what means the most to her because it also helps build her sons up and ease some of the pain of not having him in their life.
“It takes away the pain of not having their dad to open presents with or fix something or put something together, stuff that little boys need to have,” Clark said. “So, when they get sad, I can say ‘Hey remember when we got off the plane and all those people were clapping for us and all those people on the motorcycles were escorting us to these places? That’s all because your daddy was a hero.’ It gives them something cool to think about.”
Teague, who is a graduate of Booker T. Washington High School in Norfolk has been attending Snowball Express for three years and continues mentoring the children he meets at different T.A.P.S. camps and events throughout the year through Facebook and email.
He said he enjoys coming to the Snowball Express each year and plans to return for as long as they keep inviting him.
“From the whole Snowball Express experience I take away the satisfaction that I’ve helped someone that’s been through so much in life at such an early age,” he said. “Their families have been through unimaginable stresses in life and I get to come help them and do what I can to give back to those who have given so much. I take away satisfaction and gratitude for that.”
| Date Taken: | 01.03.2012 |
| Date Posted: | 01.05.2012 16:07 |
| Story ID: | 82064 |
| Location: | DALLAS, TX, US |
| Web Views: | 197 |
| Downloads: | 1 |
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