Vigil remembers domestic violence victims

Photo By Staff Sgt. John Suleski | A participant passes a flame to another candle in a vigil held at the Marine Corps Air Station New River Chapel, Oct. 5, to remember the victims of domestic violence and to spread awareness of domestic violence.  

NC, UNITED STATES

10.05.2011

Story by Lance Cpl. John Suleski 

Marine Corps Installations East       

MARINE CORPS AIR STATION NEW RIVER, N.C. – A candlelight vigil was held at the Marine Corps Air Station New River Chapel to remember victims of domestic violence and to spread awareness on how to prevent abuse, Oct. 5.

The vigil’s main theme was to emphasize the importance of victims to break the silence and speak out against the abuse.

Tina M. Bryant, a retired Marine and domestic violence survivor, told her story of fear and how she broke free.

Bryant said there is a difference between what love is, and what love is not. She said love is a choice to give up oneself to someone else. Love is not painful.

“Love shouldn’t hurt,” she said. “Love is not using words to hurt. Love is not someone reaching out and touching you in a way that brings any kind of physical harm to you, it’s abuse. Love is not fear.”

Bryant told her story, starting with when she was 20 years old with a baby. Her husband took her and their child to the bedroom and pointed a shotgun at her temple, saying, “I love you enough to kill you.”

After a few years, Bryant came home after searching for her husband.

He was waiting for her at home, and it struck fear into her heart because she knew what was coming, she said. Their two children were sent into the back room and her husband beat her, breaking bones.

The next day, she lied to protect the husband she loved and said the injuries were from a softball game the night before.

Years later, another bad situation came about. Bryant’s husband pulled out a loaded gun. But instead of doing nothing, she and her grown children wrestled the gun away from him.

“I was forever changed,” she said. “I realized love hurts. Love really hurts. But it’s not supposed to hurt. But, do you know what the beauty of the story is? I’m a survivor.”

Bryant said all it takes is for someone to step up and say, “enough is enough.”

Unfortunately, sometimes it is too late. A bell was rung for all 48 deaths in North Carolina due to domestic violence and the names and ages of the victims were read, which included children.

Amanda R. Kokx, a participant in the vigil and former Marine, said the vigil is a step in the right direction, but more needs to be done to prevent domestic violence.

Anyone who needs help should call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

• Date Taken: 10.05.2011
• Date Posted: 10.11.2011 09:35
• Story ID: 78306
• Location: NC, US