News: Sports humor: A look at the lighter side of sports
Story by Staff Sgt. Roger RyDell Daniels
FORT STEWART, Ga. - In the world of horse racing, add another year without a Triple Crown winner. Oxbow outraced Orb and the field to extend the Triple Crown drought to 36 years since Affirmed became the 11th horse to win all three races in 1978.
If you’re enjoying the NBA playoffs, this weekend offers you two games. On Saturday, the Spurs try to bury the Memphis Grizzlies and tomorrow and Sunday the Heat and the Indiana Pacers will play game two and three.
I interrupt this serious sports column to look at the lighter side of sports. The sports world is full of cliches, uncommon sayings, foolish and funny quotes.
I umpire youth baseball and, at almost every game, I hear someone, either a coach or someone in the stands, yell, “swing if you’re going to swing.” Huh? What exactly does that mean? That always gets a chuckle out of me.
Through the years, I have heard some funny quotes from athletes. One of the most famous is former Major League Baseball player Yogi Berra. Here’s a montage of Yogi Berra’s funny quotes:
• "It ain’t over till it’s over."
• "This is like deja vu all over again."
• "You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m hungry
enough to eat six."
• "I couldn’t tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because
it had a bag on it’s head."
• "You can observe a lot just by watchin."
• Yogi Berra after watching a Steve McQueen movie, "He must have made that before he died."
• "Baseball is 90 percent mental, the other half is physical."
• "I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."
• "You got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there."
• "Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hittin."
Here are some other funny quotes from other athletes:
• “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt,” - former NBA Center Chuck Nevitt.
• “You guys line up alphabetically by height,” former college football coach Bill Peterson.
• “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father,” - Australian Golfer Greg Norman.
• “I feel like I'm the best, but you're not going to get me to say that,” - Hall of Fame NFL Receiver Jerry Rice.
• “My career was sputtering until I did a 360 and got headed in the right direction,” - former NBA Guard Tracy McGrady.
• “The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch and one on the throttle,” - Speed Channel host Bob Varsha.
• “I'm traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85,” - former NFL Receiver Chad Johnson.
• “Sometimes, they write what I say, not what I mean,” - former MLB Player Pedro Guerrero.
• “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein,” - former NFL Quarterback Joe Theismann.
• “I've never lost a game. I just ran out of time,” - Michael Jordan.
• “He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is,” - Boxing Trainer Lou Duva.
• “I ain't gonna be no escape-goat,” - Hall of Fame NBA Forward Karl Malone.
• In response to a player telling Metcalf he had four F's and one D. Simply building on the positives, former college basketball coach Shelby Metcalf said: “Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject.”
• “I've never seen anyone go on the DL with pulled fat,” - former MLB Pitcher Rod Beck.
• “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first,” - former NFL Running Back George Rogers.
• “I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won,” - Muhammad Ali.
• “We're not attempting to circumcise rules,” - former NFL Coach Bill Cowher.
• “They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds,” - Hall of Fame NBA Center Wilt Chamberlain.