WEBVTT 00:03.640 --> 00:06.260 When I think about suicide , there's 00:06.269 --> 00:08.269 been a lot of quotes that have been 00:08.269 --> 00:10.325 said about suicide . Uh There's been 00:10.325 --> 00:12.158 quotes , suicide passes , pain , 00:12.158 --> 00:15.529 suicide is cowardice , suicide . This 00:15.539 --> 00:19.530 suicide death . What comes 00:19.540 --> 00:21.879 to mind to me , all the counselings 00:21.889 --> 00:24.569 I've done . If someone has reached a 00:24.579 --> 00:26.670 point in their life where they feel 00:26.680 --> 00:28.736 that they are completely worthless , 00:28.736 --> 00:32.509 they have no worth . How do you restore 00:32.520 --> 00:36.290 worth to someone ? How do you restore 00:36.299 --> 00:40.229 life to someone ? And 00:40.240 --> 00:42.740 in the story that comes to mind , one 00:42.750 --> 00:46.130 of many stories is walking 00:46.139 --> 00:49.110 alongside someone long enough that you 00:49.119 --> 00:51.419 know them well enough that you can 00:51.430 --> 00:54.270 point out those things where they bring 00:54.279 --> 00:57.069 life to a situation where they bring 00:57.080 --> 01:00.299 worth to a situation where , where 01:00.310 --> 01:02.869 they're lifted up . It , it seems like 01:02.880 --> 01:05.720 today in the culture that we live with 01:05.730 --> 01:08.319 all of our social media and everything 01:08.330 --> 01:11.879 else that we have . Many parts of what 01:11.889 --> 01:14.139 we bring are superficial . They don't 01:14.150 --> 01:16.206 actually dig down into the depths of 01:16.206 --> 01:18.150 the heart of the person that we're 01:18.150 --> 01:20.261 standing in front of . Uh , how , how 01:20.261 --> 01:22.428 are you today ? Well , the , the right 01:22.428 --> 01:24.594 response is I'm good and smiling . You 01:24.594 --> 01:27.010 walk down the hallway . I I think it 01:27.019 --> 01:30.269 comes down to an , a , an awareness of 01:30.279 --> 01:32.446 suicide may be one way to say it . But 01:32.446 --> 01:34.668 I , I actually think it just comes down 01:34.668 --> 01:37.089 to that interpersonal skill of setting 01:37.099 --> 01:41.089 down and living life with people . How 01:41.099 --> 01:43.970 do we do that today in , in a fast 01:43.980 --> 01:46.470 paced society in a fast paced culture 01:46.760 --> 01:48.816 where we're just going from thing to 01:48.816 --> 01:50.927 thing , event to event and meeting to 01:50.927 --> 01:52.593 meeting . And I think it's an 01:52.593 --> 01:55.000 intentional slowing down to see the 01:55.010 --> 01:57.177 person that's sitting with us . It's , 01:57.177 --> 01:59.399 it's accepting that phone call . It's , 01:59.589 --> 02:02.169 it's taking the messages in the stream , 02:03.000 --> 02:06.419 it's going to lunch . I , I 02:06.430 --> 02:10.229 think often times what I have found as 02:10.240 --> 02:12.009 a chaplain , I'm afforded the 02:12.020 --> 02:15.419 opportunity to create my schedule , uh 02:15.429 --> 02:19.009 around those needs . And oftentimes 02:19.020 --> 02:21.320 some of the saving factors that has 02:21.330 --> 02:24.479 kept someone alive is , is just 02:24.490 --> 02:26.379 creating the time to be with that 02:26.379 --> 02:28.309 person . I'm granted 02:31.320 --> 02:34.039 we can't save everyone and this is 02:34.050 --> 02:36.149 where it is close . We can't save 02:36.160 --> 02:38.460 everyone , we can't control anyone . 02:40.619 --> 02:43.839 But I think if we take the steps to 02:43.850 --> 02:46.960 genuinely care about other folks , uh , 02:46.970 --> 02:49.137 we are saving lives whether we know it 02:49.137 --> 02:51.580 or not . And we're having those 02:51.589 --> 02:53.478 conversations that are needed and 02:53.478 --> 02:55.145 important and it's the deeper 02:55.145 --> 02:56.145 conversations 03:00.919 --> 03:03.279 it almost seems like in life , folks 03:03.289 --> 03:06.389 chase after the light often and they 03:06.399 --> 03:08.121 think that new job or that new 03:08.121 --> 03:10.343 promotion or that new thing is going to 03:10.343 --> 03:12.343 shed light on their life and that's 03:12.343 --> 03:14.399 gonna , they've lived their ultimate 03:14.399 --> 03:17.589 purpose . But oftentimes the theologian 03:17.600 --> 03:19.656 that once said that it's a glimmer , 03:20.360 --> 03:22.360 it's not a real light , it's just a 03:22.360 --> 03:24.529 reflection of the real light . And in 03:24.539 --> 03:26.706 that glimmer they've chased after it . 03:26.706 --> 03:29.039 And when they grab hold of that glimmer , 03:29.039 --> 03:31.206 they realize it's not the light , it's 03:31.206 --> 03:33.649 just a glimmer and it fades away . So , 03:33.660 --> 03:35.827 what do you grab on to that ? That's , 03:35.827 --> 03:37.827 that's true light . That's , that's 03:37.827 --> 03:40.160 real light . Something that illuminates . 03:40.160 --> 03:42.438 And , and when I think of illumination , 03:42.438 --> 03:44.604 I , I think of sometimes we don't want 03:44.604 --> 03:47.089 the light to expose the shadows of the 03:47.100 --> 03:51.020 heart . But oftentimes if we 03:51.029 --> 03:53.899 can withstand that pain , if we can 03:53.910 --> 03:55.910 work through it . And this is where 03:55.910 --> 03:57.910 your chaplain and behavioral health 03:57.910 --> 04:00.077 really come hand in hand , we can help 04:00.077 --> 04:02.132 you walk through that sorrow or that 04:02.132 --> 04:04.820 regret or that injury . And outside of 04:04.830 --> 04:07.110 that you , you become stronger through 04:07.240 --> 04:11.119 the pain I would offer . We 04:11.130 --> 04:14.199 don't want to be in pain . Nobody likes 04:14.210 --> 04:17.239 suffering . Oftentimes what I get is 04:17.250 --> 04:19.417 chaplain I'm suffering . Why would God 04:19.417 --> 04:21.739 cause or why would God allow this in my 04:21.750 --> 04:24.209 life ? And I used to be one that 04:24.220 --> 04:26.380 couldn't set in the pain . I didn't 04:26.390 --> 04:28.612 want to , I was always gonna turn it to 04:28.612 --> 04:30.834 the positive . But what I found out was 04:30.834 --> 04:32.890 I , I was suppressing those emotions 04:32.890 --> 04:35.057 and pushing them down the , the sorrow 04:35.057 --> 04:37.339 and what I had conditioned as negative 04:38.230 --> 04:40.563 uh because I didn't view it as positive . 04:40.563 --> 04:43.290 What I learned is in cycling through 04:43.820 --> 04:47.250 those feelings , those emotions in for 04:47.260 --> 04:49.371 in my life to bring them to scripture 04:49.371 --> 04:51.593 and what God says and who God says that 04:51.593 --> 04:54.799 I am created a new level of resiliency . 04:55.779 --> 04:59.399 I think many of us are capable of 04:59.410 --> 05:01.609 walking alongside someone else and 05:01.619 --> 05:04.890 doing those things . And oftentimes I 05:04.899 --> 05:07.000 think we can because you have a 05:07.010 --> 05:09.839 relationship that I don't , you have a 05:09.850 --> 05:12.269 trust that I don't have because you 05:12.279 --> 05:14.390 know , that person , so being able to 05:14.390 --> 05:16.612 walk with that person and sit with that 05:16.612 --> 05:19.010 person in those moments I think is 05:19.019 --> 05:19.890 invaluable . 05:24.829 --> 05:26.760 Yeah . So , so when I think about 05:27.910 --> 05:31.040 restoring hope or when someone feels 05:31.079 --> 05:34.869 hopeless , I , I think that's where 05:35.149 --> 05:38.790 having a level of patience and studying 05:38.799 --> 05:41.250 with someone and hearing all of those 05:42.260 --> 05:45.130 negative or bad things that have 05:45.140 --> 05:47.307 happened that have caused them to lose 05:47.307 --> 05:49.529 hope is the first step . I think that's 05:49.529 --> 05:52.350 the first step . I think after that 05:52.359 --> 05:56.350 though is helping them find within , uh 05:56.359 --> 06:00.109 where their hope was . Sometimes , you 06:00.119 --> 06:02.341 know , even in , in counseling sessions 06:02.341 --> 06:04.175 with soldiers that I've sat with 06:04.175 --> 06:06.630 restoring hope is taking you from the 06:06.640 --> 06:08.670 past and trying to get you into the 06:08.679 --> 06:11.299 present . Oftentimes when , when 06:11.309 --> 06:13.980 there's loss and there's grief , it's 06:13.989 --> 06:16.045 living in the past . It's a regret I 06:16.045 --> 06:18.579 wish I would have and , and that drives 06:18.589 --> 06:21.339 life instead of here I am right now , 06:21.779 --> 06:24.579 here I am today . This is what I can do 06:24.589 --> 06:26.980 today and , and , and there are times 06:27.010 --> 06:29.179 that you can restore hope by even 06:29.190 --> 06:31.760 looking at the future . Well , this is 06:31.769 --> 06:33.880 where I am right now in the present , 06:34.239 --> 06:37.160 but this is where I'm going to go or 06:37.170 --> 06:39.281 this is the promise that I'm going to 06:39.281 --> 06:42.600 keep . II , I think oftentimes when 06:42.609 --> 06:46.140 folks feel stuck , the , the role of 06:46.149 --> 06:48.316 the chaplain or the role of the person 06:48.316 --> 06:50.427 that's sitting with them is how , how 06:50.427 --> 06:52.649 do we get them to a place where they're 06:52.649 --> 06:56.089 unstuck ? How do we help them move from , 06:56.100 --> 06:58.519 from the , the pit that they may find 06:58.529 --> 07:01.679 themselves in ? And , and sometimes in 07:01.690 --> 07:03.857 counseling scenarios , I've even asked 07:03.857 --> 07:05.968 the question . When was the last time 07:05.968 --> 07:07.968 that you had hope ? What , what was 07:07.968 --> 07:10.190 your hope in ? Let me get a , a variety 07:10.190 --> 07:12.357 of answers , chaplain . My hope was in 07:12.357 --> 07:14.579 this girlfriend that I lost and I , you 07:14.579 --> 07:16.579 know , in true military fashion , I 07:16.579 --> 07:18.523 knew her for two weeks and we were 07:18.523 --> 07:20.634 gonna get married and , and then it , 07:20.634 --> 07:22.690 it just left me . What was your hope 07:22.690 --> 07:25.489 before two weeks ago or did you have 07:25.500 --> 07:28.089 hope ? What does that look like when I 07:28.100 --> 07:30.322 think of hope ? And I think of defining 07:30.322 --> 07:32.899 hope . It's an expectation for 07:32.910 --> 07:35.609 something better . It's an expectation . 07:36.019 --> 07:39.799 Uh , a strong belief that this is not , 07:39.809 --> 07:43.679 it , this is not the end in , in 07:43.690 --> 07:46.670 restoring hope if we can help others , 07:46.679 --> 07:49.630 see that this is not what defines you . 07:50.299 --> 07:53.010 This isn't where you have to stay . Uh 07:53.019 --> 07:55.399 This isn't the only decision that you 07:55.410 --> 07:58.579 made and is completely who you are . I 07:58.589 --> 08:00.959 think hope , restoring hope is that 08:00.970 --> 08:04.880 process of this is who you can be or in 08:04.890 --> 08:07.079 chaplain words , this is who God 08:07.089 --> 08:09.256 created you to be , or this is who God 08:09.256 --> 08:11.970 says that you are . And , and even if , 08:11.980 --> 08:13.790 even if there's not a religious 08:13.799 --> 08:16.380 background , I consider it a privilege 08:16.390 --> 08:18.557 when I have specific folks that sit in 08:18.557 --> 08:20.723 front of me , especially if I've heard 08:20.723 --> 08:22.779 it from their other leaders . You're 08:22.779 --> 08:25.001 saying this about yourself . But let me 08:25.001 --> 08:27.057 tell you what your leaders have said 08:27.057 --> 08:29.334 about you . That's a restoring of hope . 08:29.334 --> 08:31.334 Uh when someone can't see it within 08:31.334 --> 08:33.668 themselves , but you can see it in them . 08:33.668 --> 08:35.779 You pull that out , say wait a minute 08:35.779 --> 08:37.890 here . This is , that's not how I see 08:37.890 --> 08:40.150 you . This is how I see you . Uh That 08:40.159 --> 08:42.500 decision is not how I see you . These 08:42.510 --> 08:44.799 decisions are how I see you . This is 08:44.809 --> 08:47.159 where your life is going . I , I think 08:47.169 --> 08:49.280 that's a restoring can be a restoring 08:49.280 --> 08:49.619 of hope .