CAMP LEMONNIER, Djibouti - Service members at Camp Lemonnier, Djibouti, were asked to think about both sexual assault prevention and their own personal relationships in a new way— be proactive and ask for consent.
The show, “Can I Kiss You?” presented by Mike Domitrz, demonstrated realistic scenarios of how service members can intervene as active bystanders in potential sexual assault situations.
Domitrz, founder of the Date Safe Project, used humor, plain language and interaction with the crowd to illustrate a scenario where service members witness a scene at a bar in which one person is deliberately trying to get another person intoxicated to increase the likelihood of sexual activity. “We call this ‘taking advantage’,” he said, “but what it really is an attempted sexual assault.”
Information Systems Technician 1st Class Shannan Arney agreed. “Soft language makes things more acceptable to people. I’ve seen this scenario happen in real life and people do tend to rationalize why they shouldn’t act.”
Domitrz explained that most people convince themselves not to act in these situations because of a fear of confrontation and the misguided thought that “it’s not my business”. He went on to invalidate that kind of thinking in a way that was easy for the service members to relate to.
“Each of you joined the military,” Domitrz said, “so obviously you are willing to fight for what you believe. We have all had moments when we stood up to our friends and parents for something that we believed, so we can all overcome that fear of confrontation.”
In addition to sexual assault prevention, “Can I Kiss You?” illustrated for the service members miscommunications in relationship dynamics, particularly as it relates to physical intimacy. Domitrrz demonstrated that regardless if couples are just starting to date, or are in long-term married partnerships, proactive communication and simple language help eliminate the kinds of common miscommunications that all couples experience.
Domitrz’s program was part of a multi-nation tour in Navy Region Europe, Africa and Southwest Asia’s area of operations, and it focused on service members’ health and wellness, particularly in regards to sexual assault and suicide prevention.
Camp Lemonnier’s sexual assault response coordinator, Temesia Andrews, put the program in context by saying, “This training is current. It helps our service members, particularly in the joint environment we have at CLDJ, understand that (sexual assault prevention and response) training is important to all the branches of the military. And it does it in a way that watching computer based training isn’t able to do.”