FORT BLISS, Texas - The Better Opportunities for Single Parents program is designed to bring single parents serving on active duty together with the goal of educating them on how to better manage their unique situations.
Fort Bliss started the program just over two years ago. The United States Army does not officially recognize it yet, but its popularity is growing every day with the help of individuals like Staff Sgt. Amanda Marion, the BOSP representative for Headquarters and Headquarters Battalion, 1st Armored Division, here.
Marion is a healthcare sergeant, commonly referred to as a medic, with more than 10 years of active-duty service and a single mother of a 2-year-old girl.
“I joined the Army 10 years ago to prove a point,” said Marion, a Burlington, Mass., native. “I had always thought about being a soldier and I had someone in my life who kept telling me I couldn’t do it. I’m pretty sure I have proven that person wrong.”
When Marion arrived at Fort Bliss almost two years ago, she was arriving at a new duty station as a single parent for the first time. To handle that stress, she fell back on a familiar program from her earlier service, but with a new twist.
“I was always a part of the BOSS (Better Opportunities for Single Soldiers) program since my first duty station,” said Marion. “So when I got here to my unit, and now being a single parent instead of a single soldier, I asked if there was a BOSP representative. The answer was no, so my next question was to ask if I could be the representative for the unit, and they said yes.”
Marion said getting the BOSP program up and running in her unit was beneficial not just for the additional leadership opportunities it gives her, but she is also able to engage with each new single parent coming in to her unit. The program allows her to show them what support and resources are available to handle the unique situations they share as single parents serving on active duty.
“I had a soldier of mine become a single parent, and he was really overwhelmed with how he was going to still be a good soldier and take care of his kids by himself,” said Marion. “I was able to sit him down and walk him through everything he needed to find childcare that would be flexible with an Army schedule, and that took a lot of his stress away.”
“[Marion] will figure it out,” said Cpl. Karla Sanchez-Paez, the noncommissioned officer for Division Patient Administration, 1st AD, who works in the same office as Marion. “She is really good about researching to get the right answers to anything. You won’t ever hear her say, ‘I can’t do it.’”
Sanchez has only been working with Marion for six months, but she has high respect for her NCO.
“I’ve told her before that I have worked for a lot of NCOs and never had a situation where I can count on them like I can count on her. … I have always just had to count on myself,” said Sanchez-Paez. “She really is one of the best.”
In addition to her work with BOSP, Marion also devotes much of her free time to being a volunteer and an entrepreneur in the El Paso and Fort Bliss communities.
“After talking to [Marion] a few times at our BOSP meetings, I found out that she sold candles for additional income and she told me that she needs the supplemental income because her daughter’s father wasn’t providing enough support,” said Sgt. Richard Carreon, the Fort Bliss BOSP president. “I also found out that she was a volunteer cheerleading coach. I feel like if a married parent were to do all that while serving as a staff sergeant in the U.S. Army, they would be amazing, but she is doing it as a single parent.”
Carreon said her volunteering does not just stop with coaching and BOSP.
“At our last barbecue she donated a fully decorated cake, and it turns out that she bakes on a regular basis to sell and to donate,” said Carreon. “These aren’t just simple cakes now. You can really tell that she spends a lot of time on the decorating, whether it is the birthday cakes she donates for needy children or other things such as cupcakes for BOSP events.”
Marion donates cakes to a group named Birthday Bliss to help them host birthday parties for children. The group’s Facebook page says their goal is to host a birthday party every month for children who otherwise would not have a party, and that as a child, it is not about the presents as much as it is about celebrating with friends.
For more information about Birthday Bliss, visit: https://www.facebook.com/groups/BirthdayBliss/.
While Marion admits that she makes doing a whole lot look way too easy, she is also to quick let you know that it wasn’t always so easy for her.
“Being a single parent was rough at first, but the longer time went on, the better I was able to manage my time—allowing me to still do all the extra activities I enjoyed before becoming a single mother,” said Marion. “Planning is the key to how much I am able to still do. I really like staying active, not just for myself, but also for my daughter and that helps me find the energy needed. I want her to really enjoy her childhood.”
Marion’s ability to handle these extracurricular activities while being a single parent on active duty has made her an example that Carreon uses to inspire and teach the other BOSP members at Fort Bliss.
Carreon said that with his position in the BOSP program, he is always looking for the single parents who are handling the unique problems that arise from being a single parent in the military. He also takes the family care plans of soldiers such as Marion’s and shows them to other parents who may be struggling, so they can adapt her plan to their own, allowing them to stay in the military, but doing so with proper and reliable childcare for their children.
Single parents in the military have to develop a childcare plan with their commands. This plan enables them to adapt to situations such as short-term care for late night or overnight duties, mid to long-term plans for monthlong training exercises, and long-term plans that can facilitate yearlong deployments.
All of this planning can lead to added stress on leaderships, but with the help of BOSP and examples from soldiers like Marion, commands have a chance to avoid negative thoughts about the added stress, and instead focus on the performance of the soldier when rating their abilities, said Carreon.
“There is a stigma in the Army that single parents have more difficulty in accomplishing the mission, but after working with BOSP and single parents like Staff Sgt. Marion, I found that the stigma is a perception, not a reality,” said Carreon. “I have always seen her as just as capable as any other [noncommissioned officer] on Fort Bliss, and in some regards, better than most.”
This story is part one of a three-part series highlighting individuals of the Fort Bliss BOSP program.