Marine family’s struggle becomes community mission

QUANTICO, VA, UNITED STATES

11.14.2012

Courtesy Story

Marine Corps Base Quantico

QUANTICO, Va. - Kaelyn wasn’t supposed to live past the first two weeks of her life, that’s what doctors told parents, Maj. Brandon Graham, infantry officer, and his wife, Jolanda. Born with half a heart, her survival and chance at a normal life was this military family’s struggle that soon became their community’s mission.

Kaelyn, now 8, was born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome, a rare congenital heart defect in which the left ventricle is severely underdeveloped and unable to send enough blood to the body.

At birth, doctors gave the family three options: do nothing and let nature take its course, which meant Kaelyn would eventually die; sign up for a heart transplant; or undergo a risky three-step surgical treatment, Jolanda recalled.

Giving up wasn’t an option and receiving a newborn’s heart in time seemed unlikely so Jolanda said they opted for the multi-surgical treatment and, at 11 days old, Kaelyn underwent her first open heart procedure.

“At that point we knew this was going to be a life-long ordeal for Kaelyn,” Jolanda said. “Even if she didn’t expire at a young age and she lives to be however old, she would be battling to live her entire life.”

By age four, Kaelyn had been through three open heart surgeries, only to learn that her heart was again failing. Then in 2010, she received a heart transplant. The military family, that also includes their 17-year-old son, Justin, found themselves fighting a war on two fronts. While Jolanda stayed in and out of the hospital with Kaelyn, her husband deployed twice to Iraq.

Military families face unique challenges unlike most civilian households. Frequent moves, deployments and long hours are the norm, and with the nation still at war, the support for troops is vital.

“I still have a job to do and my wife, who has been wonderful, finds a way to make it work, despite the challenges the Marine Corps life has to offer,” said Graham, who is a student at the School of Advanced Warfighting. “And while she’s doing that, she’s still supportive of the Corps.”

The tide soon changed when they moved to Quantico in 2011, where Jolanda said they received overwhelming support from the military community on base.

“We came here, and didn’t know our neighbors, but if they heard we had to go to University of Virginia for a doctor’s appointment, they would say, ‘do you need me to make your dinner?’”

Ashurst Elementary is the first school Kaelyn could attend full-time because of her illness … a factor that initially concerned Jolanda.

“Certain conditions are cookie cutter, but Kaelyn doesn’t fit into the regular box,” Jolanda said. “Her issues are medically related and some we don’t know about because she lived for six years on insufficient oxygen.”

Kaelyn can’t drink from the water fountain, because she struggles to swallow. Riding a bike or playing normal activities are challenging for her because of cerebral palsy, a disease that manifested during her treatments.

But none of that has slowed her down.

“Yay! You got 100 on your math test,” Jolanda said, as she hugged Kaelyn in her classroom.

At the beginning of the year, Jolanda wasn’t sure how Kaelyn would adjust but now she’s confident she will thrive.

Donna Metzler, Kaelyn’s first-grade teacher at Ashurst, along with other staff members allow her to excel alongside peers, but also makes accommodations for her special needs, Jolanda said.

Transplanted hearts usually have a life span of five to 15 years before a new heart is needed and at some point, they generally develop transplant-related coronary heart disease, Graham said.

“We’ll always be living on borrowed time but [it’s comforting] to know there is support there. That gives me energy; it lifts me up and makes me feel like, if they can care for someone they don’t personally know, I can keep going. I can do this.”

In the midst of their trying journey, Jolanda has found time to pay it forward. She regularly volunteers for the school’s Parent Educators Association, which is a small gesture to her but inspiration to others.

“She’s very strong, said Michelle Schendler, PEA president. “For all the stuff she’s gone through, most people couldn’t do it, and yet she continues to go above and beyond for anybody.

But the military mother is simply thankful they’re no longer alone.

“It was a personal battle for me, my husband and son,”Jolanda said. “Here it has become a community battle and everybody does their piece to help her excel, grow and have a chance.”

— Writer: [e-mail]

• Date Taken: 11.14.2012
• Date Posted: 12.03.2012 14:40
• Story ID: 98660
• Location: QUANTICO, VA, US