Photo By Sgt. Francesca Landis | U.S. Marine Corps Cpl. Jeremy Rodriguez, a motor transport operator with 9th Engineer...... read more read more
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Balancing being a Marine and parent is one of the greatest challenges that dual military couples face, especially for those who are stationed overseas. With communication, commitment and hope, those challenges can be overcome leading to a stronger and better relationship.
According to Corporal Abrianna Rodriguez and Corporal Jeremy Rodriguez, communication is the defining factor of a dual military relationship. Having the ability to communicate not only with each other but to the chain of command is what makes living as a dual military couple possible.
Abrianna and Jeremy have been married for over a year and have an eight-month-old baby named Kaleb. The responsibilities of being parents while balancing being a Marine and a spouse quickly brought new challenges. Support and two-way communication with leadership is of the upmost importance when facing these challenges.
Abrianna explained that when she had Kaleb, having the support of her staff non-commissioned officers made managing everything so much easier.
“When I was pregnant and getting ready for work, I felt weird,” said Abrianna. “I was getting contractions, so I waited an hour before going to work. The next thing I knew, I was talking to my staff sergeant saying I needed to go to the hospital. The whole time, she made me feel comfortable and safe.”
After giving birth, Adrianna had physical and mental changes. According to experts with the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, most new mothers experience ‘baby blues,’ or feelings of sadness or emptiness. About one out of nine new mothers experience a more serious version of baby blues called postpartum depression. Symptoms include mood swings, crying spells, a sense of hopelessness, exhaustion, difficulty sleeping and a number of other symptoms.
Abrianna explained that when she went back to work as a food service specialist with Combat Logistics Regiment 37, 3rd Marine Logistics Group, the symptoms took a toll on her. She communicated with her supervisors about her physical and mental wellbeing, and they worked together to make sure she could take care of herself and stay productive at work.
Fathers also deal with the stress of adjusting to parenthood, even though it isn’t always noticed by others, said Abrianna. Because of the toll postpartum depression was taking on Abrianna’s mental and physical state, Jeremy would often take the lead on chores and taking care of Kaleb. With the stress of work and extra responsibilities at home, he would constantly feel overwhelmed.
“It wasn’t until we ended up having a serious argument that we figured out what was wrong,” said Jeremy. “Once that happened, there was a lot more patience between us, and we could talk things out.”
Along with learning how to communicate effectively, Abrianna stated that commitment is a key factor in balancing being a Marine, a spouse and a parent.
From the time Jeremy joined the Marine Corps, he identified that he has put mission above everything else. He believed in going above and beyond because it paid off over time. After having a child, Jeremy learned to balance his time and responsibilities to the Marine Corps and to his family.
“I always thought I’m going to take care of what needs to get done for the mission [without regard to myself],” said Jeremy. “That was until I spoke to somebody and realized, ‘Hey that’s the way I’ve always done it, but I have a family now.’ It was a reality check, because if I were to die right now the Marine Corps is going to continue on without me, but I only get one family.”
Unlike in the U.S., parenting while being stationed overseas makes it more difficult to receive support from family in the U.S. because of the distance from their loved ones. It requires more independent problem solving because it isn’t always possible for family to come for support. Jeremy works as a motor transport operator with 9th Engineer Support Battalion, 3rd MLG, on Camp Hansen, which requires about an hour for the commute.
“Usually I have to be at work by eight o’clock, and she has to be at work by seven thirty, so we’ll get Kaleb’s bag ready the night prior,” said Jeremy. “In the morning we get him ready and then drop him off at daycare around six. Then I have to drive to Hansen and start my day at work.”
Being dual military, both spouses have to stay up-to-date with all training, which means whenever that training comes up, they adjust their schedules to cope with the early mornings or late nights.
“When Abrianna was on [rifle] range, she was getting up at two in the morning in order to be at the armory by three,” said Jeremy. “So taking care of Kaleb, getting him to daycare and then picking him up later fell totally on me.”
There were many days where he would take care of Kaleb before work and take a nap at his desk during lunchtime with an alarm set so that he could get some rest before the afternoon shift. That allowed him to keep going through the day until it was time to pick up his son from daycare.
Hard work and commitment helps parents keep going, and hope ties everything together, said Abrianna.
“Hope is the secret to any marriage-- especially a dual military one,” said Abrianna.
Through all the ups and downs of Abrianna and Jeremy’s relationship, hope has shined through and upheld their level of communication and commitment to each other together, explained Abrianna.
“You have to think about it like it’s not just you,” said Abrianna. “Especially if you have a kid, it’s not only you, and you have to think about the bigger picture.”
At the end of the day, living as a dual military couple in Okinawa has its challenges, but working through those challenges strengthens couples and individuals. According to Abrianna and Jeremy, communication, commitment and hope keeps a dual military relationship strong. With those three elements, anything is possible.
| Date Taken: | 03.09.2021 |
| Date Posted: | 03.09.2021 18:51 |
| Story ID: | 390879 |
| Location: | OKINAWA, JP |
| Web Views: | 337 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
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