Photo By Tech. Sgt. Laurel Richards | Technical Sgt. Kaitlyn Maricle, a broadcast journalist from American Forces Network...... read more read more
AVIANO AIR BASE, Italy – There’s a stage set with living room furniture, the lights are dimmed low, and an audience waits attentively. A spirited woman dressed in civilian clothes walks on stage and immediately you can feel her energy. She breaks the tension with a self-deprecating joke about how nervous she is, and starts with a description of a persona she uses called ‘Shady Katie’.
“There are many different ways to describe Shady Katie,” she adds. “She’s quirky, she talks a lot about sports, she makes a ton of jokes, she’s kind of like a drag queen that’s had too much espresso. That last one is pretty much the most accurate one.”
‘Shady Katie’ is also known as Technical Sgt. Kaitlyn Maricle, a broadcast journalist for American Forces Network at Aviano Air Base. During the day she wears this persona, but reveals that it isn’t a complete representation of who she is.
“When I’m not Shady Katie… I’m usually just Katie Maricle.” She continues, “Sometimes I get really insecure, and sometimes I’m pretty shy believe it or not.”
“[I’m] somebody who has been living with anxiety and depression since 2014, and somebody who five years ago last month almost killed herself.”
Maricle takes us back to 2014. She’s living in Virginia and is stationed at Langley Air Force Base. She has started a new position, is going through relationship difficulties, and found out her grandmother was terminally ill. On top of all of this she is recovering from losing her father the year before.
One day in late August, she woke up, “and… just felt like it was an out of body experience, in the worst way possible,” she adds.
She provides an analogy, “You know when you’re swimming and sometimes, like, you just can’t really move very fast, that’s exactly how I felt.”
Maricle tells us how she struggles through the rest of her day, and after settling in at home she recollects feeling like she “literally wanted nothing more in that moment than to just die.” The audience remains silent and listens intently.
She describes how her sheer exhaustion prevents her from attempting suicide, “it is only because I was too tired that I’m not dead.”
Fortunately, Maricle remembers one friend who had felt that way before. She musters enough energy to call them for help. He stays on the phone with her all night until she confirms that she will safely wake up in the morning.
She remembers her mindset that next day, “I didn’t want to actually die anymore but I was certainly miserable.”
Maricle makes a call to mental health, and decides to treat her situation like she would any physical ailment. She reaches out to her friends on social media and asks for support.
As messages poured in with encouragement and offers to help, Maricle recalls feeling grateful for the reaction from her community. “My friends weren’t treating me any differently, my co-workers weren’t treating me any differently.”
As the months go on, she seeks help from mental health professionals to manage her depression and anxiety. Although she knows that this is an ongoing endeavor, she also recognizes that she is in a better place and is equipped to recognize the signs of struggle before it becomes too much.
Maricle says, “I know that the voice telling me that no one would care if I died is wrong.”
At the end of her story, Maricle shares what helped her most, advice from her late father, “’Whatever you’ve gotten through, you’re still here, so you have a 100 percent success rate’ and if I know anything about the United States Air Force is that we are a room full of perfectionists, so why ruin the 100 percent.”
On why Maricle thinks it’s important to share her story, she said, “I think when people see that someone who is as outgoing or as happy as me deals with the same mental health struggles as anybody else, they realize that there isn’t something as wrong with them as they think. They’re really not alone… I’m living proof that it gets better.”
Maricle has told her story eight times on Aviano Air Base as a part of a resiliency initiative set forth by the 31st Fighter Wing Commander, Brig. Gen. Daniel T. Lasica.
If you, or a loved one, is having thoughts of suicide, please contact one of the sources below:
Aviano Resources:
Command Post (24/7): 043-430-3100
Chaplains: 043-430-5211
Mental Health: 043-430-5321
Military and Family Life Consultant: 349-566-6285
National Resource:
National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
| Date Taken: | 02.06.2020 |
| Date Posted: | 02.20.2020 08:10 |
| Story ID: | 363460 |
| Location: | AVIANO AIR BASE, IT |
| Web Views: | 64 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
This work, More Than A Persona, by TSgt Laurel Richards, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
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