New Class Seeks to Help Parents Talk With Children About Domestic Violence

BETHESDA, MD, UNITED STATES

10.13.2016

Story by Andrew Damstedt 

Naval Support Activity Bethesda

A new class offered by Fleet and Family Support Center focuses on how parents can help children who’ve been affected by domestic violence.

“Even though [the children] were in another room or weren’t physically present for the incident, kids still pick up on it,” said Elisabet Martinez, FFSC licensed clinical social worker. “There are different things that they learn, and feel and react to. So what we want to do is help parents understand that.”

The first class was Oct. 5. Martinez said she started the class at Naval Support Activity Bethesda because she saw its effectiveness at her previous jobs. Often parents don’t know what to tell their children after an incident of domestic violence, she said.

“Sometimes parents don’t know how to tell their kids why their parents are separated when there has been violence,” Martinez said. “We’ll be able to educate our clients and help them think of ways of handling situations, especially when it comes to the children.”

Topics in the class include identifying domestic violence, whether physical, verbal, economical or emotional; learning how children can emotionally react to domestic violence; teaching how to make child visitations/exchanges safe when parents are separated; and exploring ways to engage children after a domestic violence incident.

“We want to help educate our clients on other ways they can handle situations, especially when it comes to the children,” Martinez said.

The purpose of the class is to help parents better communicate with their child after a domestic violence incident.

“I always encourage parents to be honest, but not divulge too much,” Martinez said. “It’s a matter of something as simple as saying ‘Mom and dad are having grown-up problems right now. I need to let you know things may change.’ Sometimes if all of the sudden the other parent is gone, (the children may) ask questions, ‘When are they coming back? What is happening?’ Their sense of stability is gone.”

While children will have specific concerns about their own situation, some of the concerns are common among all children. Some children will want to solve the problem, according to co-instructor Yolanda Banfield, FFSC family advocacy program victim advocate.

“‘How can I fix it? How can I help mom and dad and how can I jump in?’” Banfield explained. “Other children sometimes feel, ‘What did I do?’ They take on the blame for it.”

Children will show concern for the safety of the parent who is a domestic violence victim. Another issue for children can be the adjustment to living in a single parent home, Martinez said.

“Kids are in the middle, they love both of their parents,” Martinez said. “Sometimes kids don’t want talk about the other parent in front of the parent they live with.”

So, Martinez tells parents to explore other avenues of communicating, such as writing letters.

While the class is only for adults, Martinez said she hopes what they learn can help them strengthen their relationship with their children.

Registration is required. The class is offered weekly, but split into four sections. The class meets every Wednesday from 2 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. at the FFSC in Bldg. 11. To register for the class, call the FFSC at 301-319-4087.

• Date Taken: 10.13.2016
• Date Posted: 10.14.2016 08:18
• Story ID: 211987
• Location: BETHESDA, MD, US