Bagram Chaplain says ‘slower is better’ as Airmen return home from deployment

BAGRAM AIRFIELD, AFGHANISTAN

04.05.2016

Story by Capt. Bryan Bouchard 

455th Air Expeditionary Wing   

Reintegrating back into normal life after a deployment can be a daunting and challenging task for many Airmen who spend six months or more deployed to a combat zone away from family and friends. That’s why the 455th Air Expeditionary Wing Chaplain says that “slower is better” when it comes to getting back into the groove once Airmen redeploy home.

“The reintegration starts now as we head back,” explained Ch. (Lt. Col.) David Kelley, the Wing Chaplain at Bagram Airfield. “The you that you left as, is not the same you that you return as, and the same goes for those significant relationships that you left.”

This is why the chaplain said for Airmen to start thinking about the reintegration process even before they physically depart Bagram.

“It’s an easy thing to drag your bags to the pax terminal; it’s maybe a little more of a difficult thing to fully go home,” he said. “What I mean is Airmen need to emotionally, mentally and spiritually go home as well, so that your family on the other end gets all of you. That’s very important.”

THE FOUR PILLARS OF WELLNESS

“I think the Air Force has done a great job in the last few years of raising consciousness about Comprehensive Airman Fitness; all four of those pillars,” Kelley said. “Even out here on deployment those pillars are resiliency pillars for us to not only get through the deployment, but also to help us go home.”

The chaplain said that all four of those pillars keep Airmen where they need to be, not only on deployment but also back at home station.

“Eating right nutrition-wise and sleeping well are very important as we head home,” Kelley said. “The plane ride is very difficult on the body. Having a very solid and healthy physical being helps with reintegration.”

The next pillar, the social pillar, focuses on relationships, which the chaplain said contributes to a successful reintegration.

“Because of social media and email, we can keep many of those relationships which have been healthy for us, even back home,” he said. “Also being here, we’ve had the ability to use video chat to keep in touch with family members back home, which has been huge for resiliency that that can lend itself continuing those great social connections that we have.”

Regarding the emotional pillar, Kelley said all Airmen will take back experiences they’ve had here, many of those likely to be good.

“Often people will couch a deployment in negative terms,” he explained. “But they’re also going to take back very positive things from the deployment like serving well, honor, duty and serving country. We will go back with a sense of achievement and pride which is that emotional piece that we return with.”

On the spiritual side, the chaplain said he hopes if Airmen are connected spiritually and have faith-based kinds of foundations in life, that they have exercised those while they’ve been deployed and they will continue to take those great pillars of resiliency back with them as they reintegrate.

Kelley said the reliance on whatever spiritual faith or values an Airman leans on will get them through the challenges, and changes, reintegration may present.

THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT

“If you’re married your spouse back home has been doing a majority of the work, roles have shifted, and when you go back home one of the pitfalls is to go back and kind of take over again where you left off,” Kelley said. “Where that significant other might say ‘wait a minute, I’ve been doing this here. Now that our roles have shifted, we need to find that new normal’, can be difficult.

This is why the chaplain said that “slower is better” when it comes to reintegrating. “Slower is better for getting back into relationships, whether it be with children, a spouse, parents, or even friends.”

Many Airmen have friends who take care of their property and belongings during a deployment, and these relationship challenges can occur in those situations as well, the chaplain said.

“Of course they’re not able to do it the best way that you would do it if you were there,” he explained, “so having patience, and slowly moving back to taking back responsibilities in relationships can be beneficial.”

SOME THINGS WON'T CHANGE

Aside from some of the obvious changes during a deployment, some things may have remained the same, which can present challenges of their own, the chaplain said.

“We all have significant relationships back home,” he said. “Some of our airmen when they left on deployment may not have had good social relationships when they left—whether they’re married or not—some will take a six-month hiatus from those issues and challenges. And as they’re finding out as they’re moving home those issues are still there.”

Home relationships aren’t the only challenges Airmen may experience when they return; many workplace relationships have also changed during a deployment.

But all is not lost, and Airmen don’t have to go through these challenging times alone, the chaplain said.

IT'S OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP

“One of the great things that the air force has really matured to is to take away that stigma post-deployment,” Kelley explained. “We realize this combat environment is the abnormal and so there are going to be some Airmen that have issue with it. It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with them, it just means they need some extra help to get you back to where they need to be.”

One of the helpful structures the chaplain referenced included, appropriately, the base chaplain. But he said there are many other resources available for Airmen including family advocacy, mental health, the Military Family Life Consultant program, and one of the most important avenues, fellow Wingmen.

BE A WINGMAN

“Being a Wingman is very important,” he said. “As you travel home, look into the eyes of the folks that were with you. Make sure that you’re taking care of each other all the way home. And if somebody doesn’t look right, talk to them about it.”

The chaplain said it’s an especially important responsibility for experienced Airmen who have deployed and reintegrated home previously.

“If I have experience with deployment and I have reintegrated well before, I need to share that with those that are first-time reintegrators,” he explained. “That’s part of my job as a person in the military, as a lieutenant colonel and a chaplain is to help those around me reintegrate well back into unit, family and social life.”

BACK TO THE BEGINNING

“This place is tough,” Kelley said. “We are not the same people that we were when we first arrived, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

“We can be better people because of this deployment and most of us will be,” he said. “Because of the experiences that we’ve been involved in and it will reshape who we are, make us more mature, and make us better airman because of the reality that we had been here together in sharing a great mission and giving our lives for something much larger than ourselves—that’s the reason most of us came into the military in the first place.”

• Date Taken: 04.05.2016
• Date Posted: 04.05.2016 10:24
• Story ID: 194394
• Location: BAGRAM AIRFIELD, AF