Portraits of Love: Together at last

Photo By Staff Sgt. Erin Piazza | Staff Sgt. Ryan Stimer, 48th Operations Support Squadron air traffic control watch supervisor, and his husband, Staff Sgt. Steven Marking, 436th OSS ATC watch supervisor, hold hands after getting married in Tacoma, Wash., Feb. 17, 2015. Stimer and Marking have been in a two-year long distance relationship since early 2014, and will be stationed together at Dover Air Force Base, Del., Feb 12, 2016. (Courtesy photo)  

RAF MILDENHALL, UNITED KINGDOM

02.11.2016

Story by Airman 1st Class Erin Piazza 

48th Fighter Wing

RAF LAKENHEATH, United Kingdom - Feb. 12 isn't a particularly significant day for many people, but for Staff Sgt. Ryan Stimer, 48th Operations Support Squadron air traffic control watch supervisor, it can't come fast enough.

It's not his birthday or even the day he got married, but it's the day he will finally get to start his life with his husband, Staff Sgt. Steven Marking, 436th OSS ATC watch supervisor, currently stationed at Dover Air Force Base, Del. After two years, they will get to celebrate their first Valentine's Day together as well as their one-year anniversary.

Their relationship has only been long distance, aside from a visit here and there that lasted no more than a few weeks. They vaguely met in technical school, but only in the sense that they knew of each other.

"It wasn't a tech school marriage," Stimer joked, "We weren't in the same class or anything. We lived on the same floor, but, past that, we didn't really know each other that well."

In early 2014, Stimer and Marking began messaging one another through social media.

"It was just messaging," Stimer said of the beginning of their correspondence. "We started talking, and it just went from there. That was around the time that 'don't ask, don't tell' was removed. It couldn't have even happened if the military hadn't changed its policy. I would have never been able to file join-spouse, have it approved and have them recognize my legal marriage, allowing us to have those benefits as any married couple. That's been amazing."

Stimer and Marking married Feb. 17, 2015, in Stimer's hometown of Tacoma, Wash., in a simple courthouse ceremony, and Marking's family attended via FaceTime from Texas. As with any wedding, there were some unexpected moments of drama.

The ceremony was to occur the day before Stimer left home, on his way back to the 48th Fighter Wing to prepare for a deployment to Africa.

"We almost didn't get married because it was a holiday weekend," Stimer explained. "There is a three-day period in Washington where you turn in the paperwork and then you have to wait. So, because of the way the holiday fell we almost weren't able to do it, which would have been really frustrating because that's how I was getting to Dover [AFB]. We were filing join-spouse."

Stimer attributed their ability to stay together, despite two years in a long distance relationship, to trust.

"I think we've all had relationships where trust has been broken, or not fully there," Stimer said. "I never had that thought, or even inkling with him, which is what has built that strong foundation to where I don't have to worry; I can just be happy."

Both Stimer and Marking noted the challenges distance inevitably brings.

"I think it's a constant in military relationships," Marking explained. "Due to the nature of being in the military, there's bound to be long distance involved at some point."

With being stationed together finally in their sights, Stimer and Marking are excited to live together for the first time and combine their households, including one dog and one cat.

"I think the funny part about it is that, for us, it hasn't been work," Stimer said, of the long distance. "I think that's a testament to, hopefully, a long life together. Now, it's going to be the idiosyncrasies of living together and finding the little quirks that we didn't necessarily know with long distance."

"I'm looking forward to all the firsts we didn't get to experience yet, such as our first Christmas together," Marking said. "We just bought a house, so I'm looking forward to the process of buying blinds and curtains and everything else we will be needing. It's going to be quite an adjustment after so long of a separation period, but I'm looking forward to it."

"Hopefully, fingers crossed, knock on wood, a short tour or deployment doesn't come up for either of us any time soon," Stimer said, half-jokingly. "But, if it happens, it wouldn't be anything new to us."

• Date Taken: 02.11.2016
• Date Posted: 02.12.2016 11:44
• Story ID: 188739
• Location: RAF MILDENHALL, GB
• Hometown: TACOMA, WA, US