Photo By Tech. Sgt. Heather Kelly | 150623-N-YY886-004 QUANTICO, Va.- Christina Kilmartin, stands behind her husband,...... read more read more
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QUANTICO, Va. - As athletes push their physical limits and reach new heights during the 2015 DOD Warrior Games competitions in Quantico, Virginia, their family members cheer and count these victories as their own. Rightly so. If it wasn’t for their support as care givers, advocates and cheerleaders, these feats would have been nearly impossible.
The parents, spouses, siblings and even children accompanying the members of the U.S. Special Operations Command team share a common experience - they have rallied around a loved one to prevail over great adversity.
It’s an experience Christina Kilmartin, wife of retired U.S. Army Maj. Robert Kilmartin, can relate to.
While her husband diligently prepared for his field events in the distance, she recounted her experience after her husband, a Civil Affairs team leader, sustained injuries related to improvised explosive device blasts while deployed to Afghanistan.
“I knew things wouldn’t be the same after he returned, but when he came home, you could tell something was different. The blasts affected him in different ways,” she said.
Embracing her husband’s challenges as her own, Christina did not hesitate to forgo her professional and academic pursuits to then take on the role of caregiver.
“The hardest part about becoming a caregiver for me was thinking about the life we had before and what we’d planned. It’s very different than what it is today. He was planning on staying beyond 20 years; I was pursuing my master’s degree. It’s just a different life,” she said.
Reflecting on the early days of his recovery, she offered some lessons learned in becoming a caregiver and advocate.
“In the beginning, I wish I would have known that it was absolutely necessary to rock the boat, and truly be my husband’s advocate. That meant seeing different doctors, having hard conversations, saying, ‘Let’s look at the pros and cons here together.’”
Those conversations also included which therapies to pursue. Among those options, the Care Coalition Military Adaptive Sports Program offered post-rehabilitation support. The program assists athletes in developing and achieving immediate and long term health goals in support of their total recovery care plan.
“Out of all the different therapies that are out there, the adaptive sports program was by far the most beneficial,” she said. “A lot of special operators are athletes; they are highly-competitive and active. Losing that makes you question your value, what you’re worth.”
Additionally, the MASP affords wounded warriors adaptive sports equipment, professional level coaching, sport specific training, and the ability to attend various camps and competitions.
“For Robert, it started out with golf. Something he had never tried before, but took to it immediately. It gave him purpose, something positive to focus on. It also brought him alongside other veterans, and he realized he wasn’t alone. For someone in that situation, it’s not just a golf game.”
U.S. Army Sgt. Maj. Kelly Ammerman, with the USSOCOM Care Coalition, agreed.
“It is important for family members, for service members, to realize that they don’t have to go at it alone. The sooner they contact the Care Coalition, the faster they will get connected with a network of support,” said Ammerman. “Events like these are important for active duty service members, but especially important for our veterans, who once they leave the service, often return to communities that don’t quite understand them.
“To be able to recommune with their brothers and sisters in the Special Ops community is significant. I have seen it change lives.”
Ammerman also underscored the broader benefits to the extended wounded warrior community.
“While it’s great to see everyone get together and the camaraderie that’s built amongst all the services and SOCOM teams, the positive impact can also be seen amongst the family members and caregivers,” he said.
“Injuries of this magnitude don’t just the change the lives of service members, it can change the entire family dynamic. Caregivers have their own host of challenges that they have to deal with. The sense of community and camaraderie is as important to them as it is for the military member they are taking care of,” he added.
Recognizing the key role families play in the recovery service members, benevolent organizations like the Fisher House have developed family support programs that address their needs. Most of the family members attending the Warrior Games were sponsored by the Fisher House.
Often people want to offer support, but don’t know what to do. Christina offered some simple advice.
“Something as simple as ‘I’m here for you’, ‘I’m praying for you’ or ‘I know this is hard for you and I appreciate everything you do’ ... just showing kindness and genuine care. It’s not pity, it’s encouragement, and it means so much. It’s a small thing to ask for men and women who have served and suffered for our country and their families.”
| Date Taken: | 06.26.2015 |
| Date Posted: | 06.27.2015 14:59 |
| Story ID: | 168399 |
| Location: | QUANTICO, VA, US |
| Hometown: | TAMPA, FL, US |
| Web Views: | 201 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
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