Spousal/caregiver programs crucial in Soldiers’ healing

Courtesy Photo | Former Fort Hood WTU Soldier, Spc. Daniel Booth, credits his wife, Stephanie, with helping him heal. Last year, his wife was honored during the unit's inaugural spousal-recognition ceremony. Recently, she shared her experiences as her husband's full-time caregiver with WTU spouses during May's WTU spouse and caregiver appreciation event. (Photo by Gloria Montgomery (Army Medicine))  

FORT HOOD, TX, UNITED STATES

06.04.2015

Courtesy Story

Fort Cavazos Public Affairs Office

By Gloria Montgomery
Fort Hood Warrior Transition Brigade

FORT HOOD, Texas - Former Army spouse Stephanie Booth felt both alone and isolated when the mother of four became a full-time caregiver to her injured husband.

Even though it comforted her knowing Fort Hood's Warrior Transition Unit (WTU) was providing her husband -- a Soldier in Transition -- with top-notch therapy and medical management, it did not erase the fear and stress associated with her caregiver duties. It was hard on her, she admits, because in caring for her husband, she had forgotten to care for herself. Her only solace: hiding in her closet to cry and to steal some alone time.

Fearing her husband would get into trouble if she asked for help, she tackled the job alone, juggling her triple duties as mother, wife and caregiver to her wheelchair-confined husband as best she could.

Then, last summer, she got a phone call from Fort Hood WTU's new leadership team personally inviting her to a new spousal and caregiver-support program. It was there where she found her angels: other WTU spouses and caregivers who were in similar situations. Her feelings and emotions were finally validated. She was not alone.

Okay to be angry

"I learned it was okay to be angry and scared. I learned it was okay to cry and also that it was okay and even encouraged to ask for help and assistance," she said, adding that pretending that things were okay only prolonged her husband's healing process.

With her husband now out of the Army, Booth is on a new mission: Sharing her story with other WTU spouses and caregivers to encourage them to "be involved."

Recently, she along with another former WTU spouse, Vicki Ortego, shared their stories of success and survival with a group of WTU spouses and caregivers during last month's WTU spousal-appreciation event hosted by Fort Hood WTU senior spouse, Paulette Woodall.

"There is no one who better understands you than the caregivers who are here today," Booth told the group, stressing how important it is to become involved in a Soldier's healing process, as well as to embrace the help and assistance programs available via the WTU and its Soldier and Family Assistance Center (SFAC).

Booth said that WTU's spousal transition workshops, the marriage retreats, the career workshops and SFAC's resources and counseling services, as well as her husband's command team, gave her direction when she felt everything was "proverbially dumped on the floor."

"They steered me in the right direction and kept me focused," she said, adding that they also were very blunt. "They kept my expectations realistic, but, at the same time, they also were very kind and loving."

WTUs safe havens

Thankful that her husband was being treated with the best care possible, Booth said the outcome would have been different had the Army not had a unit specifically designated to help injured, wounded, and ill Soldiers heal.

"If it had not been for the WTU, he would have been in a much darker place," she said. "We all would have been. The WTU was a safe haven for us."

Booth also told the group that the WTU is like no other unit in the Army and is stricter and more regimented than other units.

"There is a reason," she said. "It is a medical brigade that is here to heal the Soldiers -- medically, physically, emotionally and spiritually."

Vicki Ortego had already quit her job when her husband received orders to Korea. Her husband's lingering medical issues, however, canceled the move, and he was assigned to the WTU. Ortego immediately went back to work.

It was, she admitted to the group, a mistake.

"Do not do what I did," she said. "I felt I was too busy to attend briefings and his medical appointments, so I let him do it on his own," adding that there were communication breakdowns because her husband had memory issues. "I feel now that we missed out on a lot because I was so focused on our transition. Financially, we ended up OK because I went back to work, but looking back, I wished I would have 'said this' and 'done that' because of the emotional aspects of the healing process."

Ortega also praised the WTU for the support they gave her husband, who has since retired.

WTUs support both Soldier and family

"He was supported here, the wife was supported, the children were supported," she said, "If I ever had a question, all I ever had to do was send an email," reminding the group that no question is too stupid to ask. "It could be the one question that could make the difference between success and failure. And if you do not know the answer, you now have to spend time to find the answer. That is a lot of wasted time for you and your family."

Since last year, the WTU, together with SFAC, has strengthened its spousal and caregiver programs by sponsoring job and career fairs, financial services, resume workshop and numerous support programs, including a caregiver peer-to-peer support group that provides health and wellness tools and caregiving tips to the military family.

The peer-to-peer support group, officially called Military Caregiver PEER Forum (Personalized Experiences, Engagement and Resources), is a Department of Defense initiative that was developed following a RAND study commissioned by the Elizabeth Dole Foundation that addressed the lack of and the crucial need for a vibrant support network for military caregivers.

As a result of the study, the Foundation, along with First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Jill Biden, launched Hidden Heroes: the National Coalition for Military Caregivers to raise awareness nationally for the nation's invisible heroes.

"Caring for our wounded warriors cannot be a one-person assignment," the first lady said. "It's a solemn obligation for our entire country to be there for you."

The purpose of all SFAC and national programs, according to Paulette Woodall, is to let caregivers and spouses know that they are not alone, as well as to provide them with the resources and tools to help the caregiver cope with the emotional and physical demands of caring for a loved one who is a wounded, ill or injured warrior.

"There are people here who understand what you are going through," she said. "It is really important to be connected no matter where you are in the transition process. Always remember there is someone either before you or after you who are experiencing the same things as you, so you can always relate to them."

Booth's final words to the group were to be patient in the healing process and "go with the flow."

"Your cadre and care team's sole purpose is to care for your Soldier," she said. "That being said, your idea of care and theirs may differ somewhat," encouraging the spouses and caregivers to relax and let the process work. "I can promise you that your time here will be much easier if you do. I know it does not feel like it now, but this, too, shall pass. Remember, you do not have to walk alone. The people sitting here need your friendship and support just as much as you need theirs. Reach out because there is no one better who understands what you are going through than the people here today."

To read more of Stephanie’s Booth’s advice, go to http://on.fb.me/1Jnwmf3.

• Date Taken: 06.04.2015
• Date Posted: 06.04.2015 11:16
• Story ID: 165470
• Location: FORT HOOD, TX, US