Forging bonds one couple at a time

Photo By Sgt. 1st Class Felix Fimbres | Master Sgt. Edward Quantrell and his wife Sabina practice communication skills they learned in a Strong Bonds couples retreat in Minneapolis, Minn., on July 30, 2011.  

MINNEAPOLIS, MN, UNITED STATES

07.30.2011

Story by Staff Sgt. Felix Fimbres 

U.S. Army Civil Affairs and Psychological Operations Command (Airborne)

MINNEAPOLIS -- Most battle assemblies take Army Reserve soldiers away from their loved ones, however this weekend was different. Citizen soldiers had an opportunity to reconnect with their spouses during a Strong Bonds event hosted by the 88th Regional Support Command in Minneapolis, Minn.

An all-expenses-paid trip sounds more like a prize than an actual Army function, but with funding directly through Congress, the Army and U.S. Army Civil Affairs & Psychological Operations Command (Airborne) is able to provide its married soldiers a great opportunity to reinforce families ties which will help ensure they are focused and ready for any situation or mission, together.

"This is a great event that is available to all our CAPOC soldiers," said Lt. Col. Francis Klotz, of the 354 Civil Affairs Brigade out of Riverdale Md. “Sadly we don’t have enough of the married soldiers taking advantage of this, this a great weekend the Army is paying for, you get drill points out of it, it’s out there for you, do it. “

Unfortunately, only six percent of CAPOC’s 12,000 Soldiers are taking advantage of this opportunity, something CAPOC’s command chaplains would like to change. "Right now if we got 90 more soldiers to sign up for these events that would be huge," said Capt. Robert Farmer, one of CAPOCs chaplains.

Attendance is certainly a sore spot in the program, which has a very successful return rate, but a not so great adoption rate. Of the six percent who come to these events three percent are Soldiers who have been here before," said Farmer, the Strong Bonds coordinator for USACAPOC. Farmer feels that the number of soldiers who come back for more is a testament to the skills that they learned.

Strong Bonds has been around for 37 years, starting at the University of Chicago in an effort to systematize counseling; the program is constantly changing and evolving. “We’ve integrated a number of other programs as well, they are all based on a scientific approach, but go at it in several different ways, so you’re not getting the same program every time you come to an event,” said Farmer.

Master Sgt. Edward Quantrell, from USACAPOC (A) Headquarters and Headquarters Command at Fort Bragg, N.C., and his wife Sabina, are one of those couples who attended Strong Bonds for the first time. They found the training to be very beneficial, “I think this will absolutely help on my next deployment, understanding expectations and the speaker listener skills will be very helpful,” said Quantrell, “I think we get caught in a rut, the same day-to-day business at home, this gives us an opportunity to be back by ourselves.”

“And away from the kids,” added Sabina, “Yeah, away from the kids and the hustle and bustle. We get to reflect on how to communicate,” said Quantrell. “And being able to remind yourselves why you got married in the first place,” said Sabina.

While the training has a proven track record, the other side of the story, as Sabina points out, is that there is also ample time to reconnect with your spouse one-on-one. While the mornings are filled with training, it’s far from your typical Army training and it allows couples to use techniques learned to talk and with explore each other. A date night is also involved, training is finished early in the afternoon so couples can plan, get ready for, and enjoy a quiet evening together.

“It was sold to me as a vacation,” said Farmer who self-admittedly wanted nothing to do with the training when he first heard about it, before he became a Chaplin, “I had a great time when I was there because my friends were there.

“I also had a great time because all of a sudden things just started to make sense. This person that I loved and cared for, I finally figured out, ‘oh that’s why she does this’, and ‘that’s why she does that,’ all of a sudden it opened up a whole new world for Me.” added Farmer.

Farmer’s wife, Jana, is also present as an instructor to give the other side of the marriage story and training, “I think a lot of the spouses appreciate having someone to represent them, to represent their side of what a deployment and Army life means to them.” said Jana, who also at first was unsure about the training. “The things they struggle with, in addition to the chaplains who represent the soldier,”

“I grew up as a pastor’s daughter spending a lot of time learning about what a marriage should look like, and I really felt that perhaps it was a little elementary for where I was in life,” said Jana, “but I was surprised at some of the really basic things that we take for granted, like communicating with each other, that we were doing, but not doing them as well as we could. And that is what every strong bonds does, it takes things that we might already be doing okay but teaches us to do them better,” said Jana.

Farmer also pointed out that enhancing the strength of couples is just one of the benefits of the Strong Bonds program. Single Soldiers and Families are also invited to attend one of the workshops being held throughout the year, across the country, using either the www.strongbonds.org website, or by calling him directly. “I am the number one access point for our command, I know about all the events for the country and if I don’t know I will found out very quickly and get back to you,” said Farmer.

But Farmer also feels that the Strong Bonds program is a great tool for not just single soldiers, couples and families, but entire commands as well, “We deploy up to six times as much as everyone else, and we need to have a more robust support system than anyone else. Strong bonds is a great vehicle because I can give a commander something that gives him or her the ability to mobilize their troops, families, everyone— to one place and the Commander gets to say thank you for the job done by their soldiers and families and he/she gets to ask what the problems are and how to fix them directly from the source.”

• Date Taken: 07.30.2011
• Date Posted: 08.03.2011 16:35
• Story ID: 74792
• Location: MINNEAPOLIS, MN, US