Courtesy Photo | Sgt. Kenvee Parker, non-commissioned officer-in-charge of automated logistics at the...... read more read more
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By Sgt. Gaelen Lowers
JOINT BASE BALAD, Iraq - She took the easy way out, she said. She sat next to her bed and pulled out her medications, taking a massive dose of Prozac, sleeping pills, pain killers, and Bacardi rum, and then laid down hoping to die.
“And I did,” said Sgt. Kenvee Parker, a non-commissioned officer in charge of automated logistics with the 540th Quartermaster Company, 13th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion, 3rd Sustainment Brigade, 103rd Sustainment Command (Expeditionary), and a native of St. Louis, Mo. Parker could not find much that she wanted to live for back in 2007. She was struggling with a failed marriage, the death of a loved one, depression, troubles at work and multiple deployments.
Her story is one all too common for many service members, yet hers is a little different. It has a silver lining. Parker is alive, still an NCO in the U.S. Army, and is doing better than ever. Her family loves her and her three daughters, Brittanea, 20, Ashlea, 15, and Charu, 11, love how she has changed her life around. Her story is an inspiration to service members and women everywhere.
“I remember it like it was yesterday,” she said.
In 2007, Parker was deployed to Forward Operating Base Warhorse with the 15th Brigade Support Battalion, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division out of Fort Hood, Texas.
“During that deployment I had a lot of anger because I had just recently gotten divorced from my husband of 15 years,” said Parker. “He just couldn’t take the deployments anymore and he had started to cheat on me. I was also going through anger management, which was making things worse for me.”
Parker, who was also fighting with keeping her weight down at the time, then had a run-in with a lower ranking soldier. He was on his third strike in the Army and had stopped trying to conform, she said. The soldier showed up unshaven and refused to conduct physical training with the unit. The soldier then cursed at Parker. She had enough.
“I hit him,” she said. “The slap was heard throughout the gym. Being an NCO, I knew better, but I was in a bad place during that time, so I received a letter of reprimand.”
Parker was dealing with one trouble after another, and it showed no signs of slowing down. In May 2007, Parker received a Red Cross message.
“My mother was in the hospital again, but this time, it was worse,” she explained. “They didn’t tell me how worse, but I already knew. I knew before I ever got home.”
Parker’s mother had suffered a massive brain aneurism and heart attack. Three years prior, her mother had made Parker, along with her sisters and brother, promise that they would never put her on life support, but when Parker returned home, that is exactly what she found.
“I get home to find her hooked up to everything possible,” she said. “So now I am angry that not only I had to come home under these circumstances, but they have done exactly what she made us promise not to do.”
Parker, who was the beneficiary on her mother’s will, had final say over her mother’s life. So, keeping with her mother’s wishes, on May 8, 2007, Parker made the tough decision to officially unplug her mother from life support.
“It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make,” she said. “[My family] didn’t want to do it. They thought I was everything but a child of God that day.”
Immediately after, Parker went back to Fort Hood and went into a serious state of depression. She started drinking heavily. The doctors had her taking sleeping pills and antidepressants. She wasn’t reporting to work like she was supposed to. She said she went through her stage of hating herself, feeling guilty because she had unplugged her mother, and she was mad at God, because she didn’t feel she had that right to take a life.
“My own daughter told me that she hated me,” Parker said. “For your child to tell you that she hates you, it’s like stabbing you in the heart.”
It was during that time that Parker resolved to take her own life.
“And unlike everybody else’s story where they say they saw a white light and God spoke to them, I’m going to tell you the complete opposite,” she said. “I saw black. I felt so much pain and hurt. That wasn’t Heaven. That was not Heaven.”
Parker’s ex-husband found her in her bed and immediately took her to the hospital at Fort Hood. The hospital pumped her stomach and revived her. Parker was awake for all the pain.
“That was the worst pain I had ever felt,” she said. “It was worse than childbirth. I couldn’t remember what I had done, but I knew that I was alive and I was mad. I was mad because I wanted to die and they didn’t let me.”
After being released from the hospital, Parker was admitted into the psychiatric ward at Fort Hood. She closed off from the world. She stopped talking. She stopped eating. She said she didn’t want to see anybody; not her kids, her husband, not anyone.
Then, she said, God sent her an angel named Mrs. Rodriguez, who, every night, would bathe, feed and read scripture to Parker.
“The day I came to, I woke up screaming. I was hollering and screaming at the top of my lungs. They were going to strap me back down and she told them, ‘No, leave her alone.’ She stood there and calmed me down and asked me, ‘Are you ready now? We’re waiting on you.’ She got me up and bathed me, then gave me my clothes. She asked again, ‘Are you ready now, because, we’re still waiting on you.’”
That was the day that Parker saw the light, she said. That was the day that Parker decided to turn her life around. That was also the day she found out she was being kicked out of the Army.
“I had an emotional breakdown,” she said. “There isn’t anything wrong with me now. I can’t believe that you all want to throw me out after all these years. I’m not supposed to breakdown?”
She decided to fight for her job, for herself and for her future. She enrolled herself in the Army Substance Abuse Program to prove that she had stopped using alcohol and drugs. She stopped taking the antidepressants, the sleeping pills, and stopped drinking alcohol, because now she would have to prove that she was fit to be a soldier.
Two weeks before Christmas 2007, she had a court martial hearing and stood in front of a board to fight for her future in the Army.
The board reviewed her packet, talked to her, reviewed her letters of recommendation and talked to the people who were there on her behalf. Then they convened to determine the fate of Parker and her future in the military.
“After about 20 minutes, the board called everyone back into the courtroom and their verdict was that I was human. I had a Major stand up and apologize for even putting me through all of this,” she explained.
“You could see the change in me. My husband said to me, ‘It’s like I married a whole other person.’ My middle daughter came to me and said, ‘Mama, I love how you have changed so much.’”
Parker has since dedicated her life to the Lord, whom she accredits her recovery from her depression. She attended a promotion board and became promotable. She has regained the respect and admiration of her Family and her children. She even re-married her husband in 2008.
Parker is heavily involved in all aspects of the church, including being on the usher board, being a part of the choir, joining the women’s fellowship and teaching a Women’s Ministry service once a week. She plans on reenlisting soon and trying to go to Warrant Officer School.
Members of her women’s fellowship praise her story and are inspired by what they hear from her.
“Her transformation is amazing,” said Maj. Ulekeya Hill, officer in charge of the Logistical Civil Augmentation Program for the 3rd Sustainment Bde., and a native of Vienna, Ga. “Most people that encounter the things in life that she has gone through are not always able to overcome them, but her ability to overcome these things and share them with others inspires a lot of people. If she can get through these many challenges, then my challenges don’t seem that big.”
Parker takes pleasure in every day now and enjoys sharing her story with others.
“I thank the Lord every day for helping me turn my life around,” she said. “I enjoy life now. Helping other people makes me feel so good and I hope my story can help someone through their tough times.”
| Date Taken: | 01.21.2011 |
| Date Posted: | 02.20.2011 15:00 |
| Story ID: | 65784 |
| Location: | JOINT BASE BALAD, IQ |
| Web Views: | 53 |
| Downloads: | 1 |
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