Photo By Cynthia McIntyre | Kevin Hines survived a jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, and the moment his foot left...... read more read more
He still sees things that aren’t there, and hears voices that exist only in his mind, but Kevin Hines is glad that he still walks the earth despite those deceptions.
“I lived 19 years past the day I should have died,” he said during his presentation at Fort Hunter Liggett, California, Sept. 5, 2019. “I’m grateful for everything I get to do because it almost didn’t happen.”
When he was 19 years old, Hines jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. “I felt worthless,” he said of that day. “All I could feel was pain.”
Yet the moment his foot left the railing, he said he knew he had made “the greatest mistake of my life.” Hitting the water 225 feet below “felt like hitting a brick wall,” he said. He wound up 70 feet deep in the water, and the will to live kicked in. He couldn’t feel his legs because his spine was shattered, and despite repeatedly praying to God to save him, a violent asthma attack shook his body. He began to give up, feeling hopeless, when a large sea creature nudged against him. He was convinced it was a shark and knew it was the end. Yet the animal kept him afloat until help came.
However, he found out later from a witness who had later seen him on a television show that the animal (whom he jokingly named Herbert) was actually a sea lion. The marine mammal now features prominently on his foundation’s website, his films, and even on the t-shirt he wore during the presentation. The sea lion silhouette was imprinted with the words “Be here tomorrow.”
Hines had been diagnosed with bipolar type 1 disorder with psychotic features two years earlier. As a baby, he and his brother were neglected and malnourished by his drug-addicted biological parents, and he feels that altered his brain chemistry.
“Mental struggles and pain are three hundred thousand times worse than physical pain,” he said. Although his adoptive parents were wonderful and gave him unconditional love, the “demons” of his brain told him that life was not worth living.
“Suicide is the greatest liar we know,” he said. “It’s lying to you when it says you are worthless.”
He said before his jump from the bridge, he was crying uncontrollably, keeping his pain to himself. He now says he wish he had known his thoughts did not need to become actions, and that he could have asked for help. “How could anybody read my mind?” he asked of his silent pain. He said what he most needed to hear was, “Are you okay? Can I help you?”
“A pain shared is a pain halved,” he said. “A pain silenced, festers.” He said many are fearful of asking for help because it might jeopardize their jobs or security clearance, but it is critical to do so. He said we can all be more attentive to others who seem deeply troubled, and ask them questions such as, “You look like you are in pain; can I help you?” or “Have you had suicidal thoughts?”
The Kevin & Margaret Hines Foundation also involves his wife in the mission of helping people choose life instead of suicide. “It helps others find hope, healing, kindness and recovery,” he said. He believes the science and art of storytelling helps people stay alive, and he has hundreds of videos that use humor as well as information to address questions and concerns of others about choosing life over suicide.
He had the gathering recite: “Suicide Can Never Be a Solution to our Problems. It IS the problem.”
Hines also gave a similar presentation at Parks Reserve Forces Training Area in Dublin, California the previous day.
RESOURCES:
https://kmhinesfoundation.org
www.kevinhinesstory.com
CRISIS SUPPORT:
Call: Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
TEXT: CNQR to 741 741 Crisis Text Line
Visit: www.suicide.org
| Date Taken: | 09.05.2019 |
| Date Posted: | 09.23.2019 18:39 |
| Story ID: | 343215 |
| Location: | CA, US |
| Web Views: | 228 |
| Downloads: | 0 |
This work, Biggest Mistake of His Life Now Biggest Mission, by Cynthia McIntyre, identified by DVIDS, must comply with the restrictions shown on https://www.dvidshub.net/about/copyright.
No keywords found.
LEAVE A COMMENT