COMMENTARY: Listening versus hearing

FORT BRAGG, NC, UNITED STATES

09.02.2014

Story by Timothy Hale  

U.S. Army Reserve Command

FORT BRAGG, N.C. - Irony is often cruel and unforgiving.

This month’s issue of the Double Eagle is devoted to the often-taboo subject of suicide, or better still, suicide prevention.

Unknown to us while compiling facts, data, and personal accounts on members of our own Army Reserve Family for this issue, well-known comedian, and actor, Robin Williams, had taken his own life.

“He seemed so happy and made people laugh,” said one media commentator. “But then, we never know what really is going on in a person’s life.”

This is a stark reality. At work, they may be one of the best professionals you could hope to have on your team. But inside, is a dark secret they attempt to hide. At home, they are faced with what they feel are insurmountable odds and the only way out is by taking their own life.

Psychologists will tell you that a person who attempts suicide feels that “everyone would be better off when I’m gone.”

But an attempted or completed suicide leaves us with questions.

If you look around you, chances are, you know someone who has been touched by suicide.

My mother’s mother took her own life in the 1930s when people “didn’t talk about such things,” as my mother said. I didn’t find out until the early 1990s when I was doing genealogy research and started asking questions.

In our own U.S. Army Reserve Command Family, a civilian chose to end his life a few years ago in Atlanta and the son of a USARC civilian attempted suicide last year.

In 2013, the Army Reserve lost 57 Soldiers to suicide - the most since 2009.

So, how do we stop this disturbing trend? It’s one thing to hear someone but we really need to listen to him or her, especially when they need or ask for help. Hearing and listening are not the same.

In the 2009 movie, “World’s Greatest Dad,” Williams’ character went on television and said, “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

It is unfortunate that Williams, and so many others, may have heard these words but not listened.

Ultimately, we are all affected by suicide - either directly or indirectly. The choice we have is simple - what will we do to stop it from continuing?

Will you listen when someone asks for help?

• Date Taken: 09.02.2014
• Date Posted: 09.02.2014 13:50
• Story ID: 140968
• Location: FORT BRAGG, NC, US