1st Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division Public Affairs

Story by Spc. Mike MacLeod

CAMP RAMADI, Iraq – It was a "Hollywood" jump without rucksacks or weapons, the sun was shining, his best friend and fiancé had just blessed him with a St. Michael's medal — the patron saint of paratroopers — that said I love you on the back, and she was the number two parachutist right behind him on the jump. Green light (go!), he was out the right door of the C-130 high above Sicily drop zone, airborne with the love of his life.

Good times for dual military couples are often great times, as they were for Lt. Col.(s) Trevor and Michele Bredenkamp on the jump that earned him his senior wings as a young lieutenant many years ago over Fort Bragg. Now the commander of the 2nd Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 1st Brigade, 82nd Airborne Division (Advise and Assist Brigade), Bredenkamp often counsels his young "White Devils" on how to make the most of life when you and your spouse are in the Army.

"My mom told me two things: you've got to marry your best friend, and marry an asset, not a liability," says Bredenkamp. "My wife is my best friend. We love doing everything together —camping, hiking, watching movies, doing marathons — we try not to do too many of those," he jokes.

"Marriage is all about compromise," he says. In 2006, when he was selected as an aide-de-camp for the Forces Command commander, his wife, Michele, sacrificed an opportunity to be the Deputy G-2 for the 82nd Airborne Division, instead moving with him to Ft. McPherson to an uncertain future so they could be together.

"It's challenging, but being in the military is about sacrifice," says Bredenkamp. "My wife and I both understand that. Do we enjoy being separated? Absolutely not. Being separated is not what we want to do, but it is part of the profession. You've got to make the most of the time you have together."

The Married Army Couples Program can help, he said.

Established in 1983, the program is designed to help ensure that soldiers married to other soldiers are considered for "joint domicile" assignments.

"Young dual military couples need to understand the army will consider assigning you both to the same place, but that is just one consideration and it's not higher than the needs of the Army. You have to make an effort to make the program work for you."

To enroll in MACP, couples must submit Department of the Army Form 4187 to their local personnel office. Soldiers stationed apart need to file separate 4187s.

Michele Bredenkamp will deploy to Afghanistan as the G2 for the 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) in the late spring of 2010. When she redploys in 2011, the Bredenkamps will have been apart five of their 15 married years. Sometimes the program works; sometimes it doesn't.

"I have a stack of Hallmark cards at home six inches thick where she just writes nice things. It takes effort," he said.

Sgt. Deny Caballero, an infantry team leader with Bredenkamp's White Devils, is three months into a yearlong deployment to Al Anbar province, Iraq, former home of the most violent insurgency of the war. The war has changed, however. Following a security agreement between the U.S. and Iraq, U.S. forces are in the midst of a drawdown and a change of mission, to that of an AAB.

Caballero's wife, Sgt. Catilina Caballero of 1st Brigade Special Troops Battalion, belongs to the same brigade, but she is stationed at another base 30 miles away. Though Deny's buddies talk to their wives almost daily, Deny hasn't heard Catilina's voice since they left Fort Bragg.

"It's seriously the worst thing," he says. "You would think the computer webcam would work, but since there are so many people online, I get to see her face on the video camera real quick, and then it shuts down."

While Catilina has access to a DSN phone, Deny does not. Instead, they use an online instant messenger and swap photos on Facebook.

As part of an advise and assist brigade, Deny Caballero and his fellow paratroopers are tasked with supporting Iraqi security forces, but only when asked by the Iraqis.

"There are times where it's just a pain because you just want to charge out the wire and make some sort of change, but now it's a different war. We're not going out every day patrolling, making a presence."

One platoon in Caballero's company has partnered with Iraqi army soldiers in an adjacent camp. The paratroopers teach the Iraqis soldiering skills such as sensitive site exploitation and land navigation. Caballero's squad has been "outside the wire" a half dozen times in 2 months.

"There's always a lot to be done within the squad, going over radios, proper room clearing procedures. I'm pretty lucky. My platoon is smart, go getters. They want to learn, and they get the importance of it."

"My support system here is amazing, says Caballero. "My guys give me all the moral support I need. My wife doesn't have that [combat-arms atmosphere]. She works in a really small office. She doesn't have these brothers in arms to constantly be there for her, where I do. Being able to IM her and be that support system for her is really nice.

"Being married in the Army and having someone who understands to help you through your problems is just the best thing."

More than 20,000 dual military couples currently serve in the U.S. Army. Besides Bredenkamp, several other Devil Brigade battalion commanders are part of dual military couples. Lt. Col. Scott Hooper, commander of 3rd Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment, is married to Lt. Col. Kay Hooper, deputy chief of staff for the 82nd in Afghanistan. Lt. Col. Xavier Brunson of 1st Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment, is married to Lt. Col. Kirsten Brunson, a staff judge advocate in the Fort Bragg area.

"Dual professions for any couple are challenging," says Bredenkamp. "Many professions don't allow you to just pick up and move."

For the senior human resources sergeant of the White Devils, Sgt. 1st Class Chadwick Wormer, what keeps his dual military marriage working is a shared goal of dual retirement at 38. Both he and his wife, Sgt. 1st Class Catherine Wormer, have jobs that will translate easily into government service jobs when they retire in five years.

Married as specialists, they studied for their promotion boards together and stood for the same board, same day. It would remain the pattern for their next two promotions.

"We work together to support one another – okay, it's your turn to go to college, it's my turn to go to college. We do pushups and sit-ups together at night to max our PT tests. She's my best friend," he says.

"The Army in many ways is the greatest thing we've ever done, but it is very hard on a daily basis," he says.

In the past three years, deployments have kept the couple apart all but seven weeks, and those were just prior to his current yearlong deployment to Iraq. For two of those years, their son lived with Wormer's parents in Carlisle, Pa., where his son attended the same small town elementary school as his father. Wormer has bought three houses without his wife seeing them first.

"You must make the commitment to mission first, and when you do, you must understand the sacrifice that's involved," he says.

In military communities, it's understood that sacrifice is shared by the whole family, sometimes even by grandparents.

When Maj. Mike Pratt was deployed to Iraq with 1st Battalion, 504th Parachute Infantry Regiment "Red Devils" in 2007, his wife, Maj. Maggie Pratt, was already deployed in Iraq with the 16th Military Police Brigade. Their parents took turns living in their on-post housing at Fort Bragg so their boys could continue attending their elementary school. They credit Bragg institutions Piscerne Military Housing and Fort Bragg One-Stop as important facilitators allowing the grandparents to help.

"I cannot say enough about the cooperation and support we received from the Fort Bragg community," he said.

Deny and Catilina are trying to sync their two weeks of mid-deployment leave for the same slot in the spring. Her command has said it will remain flexible to his leave dates. In the meantime, they enjoy the Spartan camaraderie that soldiers share, but within a marriage.

"There have been nights when I'll go to IM my wife and I'm really tired," says Caballero. "All I need to tell her is that I'm really tired, I love you, and that's it. I don't have to explain. She understands. 'Hey, get some sleep, love you too,' she says."

"She knows I'm working a lot. She knows we're both in a combat zone. For her and me, it's about always being able to rely on someone who's going to always have your back. It would be good to hear her voice, but I am happy she's doing what she loves."

Bredenkamp lends perspective, "There are so many people who have sacrificed so much more [than we have]. We're a very small microcosm of the larger force, especially after eight years of war. Keep in mind that a lot of people have stayed in [the Army], and stayed in deployable forces. The Army is about people, and you have to invest in that. We try to pass that to the younger generation."

In the end, it's often the shared desire to serve that brought dual military couples together to begin with. That doesn't just go away.

My wife and I both love what we do," says Bredenkamp. "We both love soldiers, paratroopers. We both love serving the country."

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